Refelction #9

"I am ready to heal...I am deserving of this."Yes, I am ready and YES I AM deserving. Yesterday I had a minor setback. I may have mentioned that I am going to have an Echo done with the cardiologist on Monday. I haven't been worried about this at all. But yesterday my partner told me that she wouldn't be able to leave work early to take me. There is a blackout period at her job because of open enrollment. This set off my anxiety alarms. I thought it was all cleared and that she'd be able to take me, so I kicked into high gear with the panic and anxiousness. I know she can't always take off work to shuttle me around. I mean, that's totally unrealistic. So I called my dad to see if he could stand in for her. He said he would and I won't miss my appointment. However, he is not the comforting presence that she is. She knows all my quirks and my triggers and she knows how to handle me when I get that way. She KNOWS how to keep me on track. I'm a bit less anxious today, having come to terms with it (mostly). I still have a knot in my tummy and a little bit of tension. That may be from my pinched nerve in my shoulder. But I must continue to tell myself that I am a WHOLE, WORTHY, HEALING Human being. That I CAN get through all of these things. That I am capable and worthy of healing and dealing with myself. Trink has become a crutch of sorts. I have let myself believe that if I am with her I will be safe. The fact of the matter is, anything can happen at ANY time. I just have to learn to deal with these things as they come.  So, I am READY to HEAL!! I AM deserving of this!!!!  Hugs and blessings to you all!! Donna