Recovery Means.....Tuning My Piano

I'm feeling fine today....had the TV repairman out this morning and expecting the piano tuner later today.  This particular TV has been on the blink for....OK..... a long, long time!  The piano has needed tuning for......6 YEARS  I think.  I wouldn't spend money on tuning a piano, when I could take that $90 and shove it in a machine for a few minutes of gambling.  When I was gambling, nothing got fixed unless it was an absolute necessity! I haven't played the piano for years now, because I can't stand hearing the offkey notes....and because I cared nothing for it when gambling.  I used to love playing, was the church pianist from 4th grade through 1st yr of college when I moved out and stopped attending my parent's church.  In college, I competed in a piano concerto competition, but blanked out and it was so traumatic, I quit competing so never went on to play with an orchestra.  One of my early teachers who I had not liked was one of the judges, and I think that threw me!   My piano teacher was so disappointed in me.  He actually had personally funded a special scholarship for me with the university and had given me a key to his studio so I could go in and practice on his beautiful steinway grand whenever I wanted after hours.  After that, I did play piano to accompany myself singing in a few clubs, but that was eons ago.  I bet I can't play one tune now!   I don't even know if I'll try to start playing again....but tuning the piano means that I might, and that my priorities have changed...I'm working toward repairing things instead of ignoring or destroying things in my life. Gambling drained me of every impulse to do anything at all, except gamble.  Forget learning anything new, or creating anything.  Forget anything except working to make more money to gamble. I've worked through most of the sadness I had over my Nama passing away, and have distanced myself from the painful memories of my ex.  It just does no good to dwell on old pain, when there is present joy to cultivate! Attitude is everything!  Today, I am being grateful for the changes in my life since I stopped gambling.  I am grateful for every bit of recovery I've experienced. I'm grateful for the beautiful people on this site who have shown me so much love, support, and compassion. Big Hugs, Much Love