Recovering from a Major Breakdown

I am so sorry to all my friends.  I have been off of here for some time because my therapist thought that it would be a good idea if I didn't go on the computer.  Also, any time that I went on the computer, I would have a major panic attack.  I am still not back to work.  The doctor has me off until the end of September.  This is really hard because all my friends and coworkers are starting school next week.  This is the first time in 13 years that I have not started the school year.  I also may lose my spot teaching 4th grade.  The union said that when and if I do go back to work, that I might have to go back to teaching specail education.  I do not want to end up at some of the schools that I was at where the teachers and principals were so mean to me.  My husband works two jobs to support the family.  I feel really bad for him.  My little one is starting 3rd grade and my step daughter is going to be in 10th.  I have to have surgery on the 10th to see if I need a full or partial hysterectomy.  I have endrometrosis really bad, fibroids, and ovarian cysts.  My left ovary is full of them.  I am in tremendous amount of pain at times and the fibromyalgia doesn't help.  After 11 different anti-depressants, the doctors finally found one that I can take, am willing to take, and that is helping me.  I finally feel like a human being and myself again.  However, now I have the pain of not starting class and being with my students.  I don't want to be on disability.  I am going to try a holistic approach in September at a pain clinic.  I have been trying EMDR which helps me a lot.