Received an email today

Any communication from him shocks and pains me.  He call and I let the kids answer.  The talk to him.  Sometimes he asks to speak with me but I say no.  He isn't forthcoming with anything.  His reactions lead me to believe that she's still in his life.  Infact I'm sure of it. He emailed me today to inform me of a power bill that needs to be paid and said he'd pay it.He gave a little preamble about what a louse he has been and he can never deserve my forgiveness.  He wants to communicate because there is more to tell me but he doesn't want to cause me more pain.  He wants to talk in person because the distance makes everything so impersonal. What more could he say!?  It scares me to know there is more!I told him to say it in an email.  I didn't say it to him but it would rip me up to see him in person!  I can't do it.  It rips me up to speak on the phone!  Even his emails really disturb me but atleast I don't have to show him what it does to me!