reasons I hate my 8 year old self!

I was assigned by my therapist to befriend my 8 year old self. Here are reasons why that seems impossible!!!!!!!!! 
1. Mean to peers
2. I was alway told I was fat and I agreed with everyone of the people
3. I am in a wheelchair, which I was told no one would ever love me because of that! 
4. So ugly 
5. No friends, to me that speaks volumes 
6. Always at a doctors office
7. A hassle to my family
8. always in the way
9. told by my mom "I wish you where dead, I wish i'd givin you up when I had the chance!"
10. Never told by anyone that i was loved
11. the "rape" dreams started, first one felt real!!
12. started questioning if I am worthy of love or at least respect!
13. Always being yelled at when I would cry! always told to "suck it up" 
14. emotional overload started and has yet to stop! 
15. alway sucidal! 
16. wanted to be loved but the more I pushed the further I got from the ones who ment the most to me
17. never was allowed to be myself, EVER! 
18. Never could get anyone to play with me so I started having voices and now I am considered schizophrenic now. 
19. I didn't have a support system, I just had everyone being a critic! 
20. Always negative never tried to think of what could be! 
 
ideas for next journal??