Really tough week

So, its one of those days where I am just having mini meltdowns thinking of my Mom. What in the world, thinking constantly of her the last few weeks and remembering everything we talked about. I called my sister and she just said I know, I need to talk to her too! I tried to have a conversation thinking of what she would have said to me, I just miss her so much. And that pain, that pain in my chest just gets in a great big ball and won't go away. It started yesterday after my yoga class in the morning. The instructor came around with lavender oil and rubbed my shoulders and tears just streamed from my eyes, thank god it was the end of class. my friend hugged me and all I could remember was the last week, I would spray lavendar on a cool cloth and put in on her neck and face, she loved the smell. and it just brought me to a place, and it was so strong. I drove to her house, went inside and layed in her bed and cried for an hour. Tried to smell her clothes to smell her. ... I said I am so sorry Mommy, I know you don't want me to cry. and everywhere you turn, there is a photo of her with a grin or smile and its overwhelming.... I just miss her. I could use a nice dream or something....