Really Tired
My day started out ok. I decided to start low carb day after Christmas. And have been doing good except i can tell my energy level has dropped on 2nd day. I was off work yesterday and today and have been Instacarting both days. Im definately getting my exercise in and now Im enjoying aglass of wine to relax at the end of the day. The friend i met on DS I reconnected with from 3 years ago called this morning and we picked up like nothing ever happened. I fell madly for him but have been over him for quite awhile so its nice to just talk without complication. Hes in the same situation im in. Living with someone he isnt in love with. Christmas put me behind on saving but i will soon have all that paid off and can focus on putting more money back. I prepared for Xmas so i knew i would probably break even but the Instacarting has helped tremendously. There is nothing like being behind the wheel of a car and the only thing your focused on is delivering groceries. I have to say it is somewhat peaceful and has taken my mind off alot of things instead of being consumed by my situation. Its nice to go home physically tired. My guy that ghosted me at Thanksgiving finally gave up. Cant blame him. The last time i saw him, he was drunk and his Winnabago was growing mold. I had to ask myself if strapping myself with another needy man was worth what little energy I have left. We had just started getting good and then he ghosted me for being sick on Thanksgiving. I figure maybe the universe was giving me a sign like so many times before. It just wont work out. I wish for once a man would step up and take care of me but, Im not placing any bets. For so long i didnt recognize the idea that i could make it on my own..but...financially im paying my share so i know that i can on my own...its just scary without the moral support and a good friend.
I wish i could cry on someones shoulder and hear the words"Its going to be allright" and "Im here to help".
Im always that friend attracting and drawn to birds with broken wings...somehow believing i can help them fly again...but im so tired.
Replies
Hm-m-m-m-m, , , Dunno if I'm lost in metaphor here, but ? ? ? Does it work to say the peer support network is a flocking of birds with broken wings helping each other to fly again? I may never get my broken wings to fly again, but I sure appreciate the brothers and sisters-in-healing who help me find the courage to try.
Or? ? ? Well. . . I get lost in metaphor with embarrassing ease. You should see what my graphic thought processes do with "cool" metaphors. Why can't I think in words like Normies do?
Rest is a productive activity, my hard working woman. May the rest be restorative for both of us. Busy days wear a body down.
I also felt a loss of energy when I changed my diet but I think it takes a few weeks to adjust to different foods.
When you said "broken wings" it made me think of one of my favorite songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Man4Xw8Xypo