Really struggling with the anxiety
So I think im slowly driving myself mad!! I was in quite a good place when I wrote my last journal but then on Tuesday I had a run in with an electric fence! My first thought was "Ouch" then I thought......Oh shit, I'm pregnant!!! I freaked out and rang back tot work where my colleague told me she had shocks in all three of her pregnancies and was fine. By the time I got back to work Id got myself in a bit of a state. I googled the sh!t out of it and really only found lots of women saying they had had shocks and been ok, and a few terrifying articles about electric shock causing instant miscarriage!
I ended up ringing the fertility clinic since I hadn't sorted a midwife yet, who said I should be ok.....but I should get my gp the next day to check me out and listen to the hb. Well the next morning I rang the midwife I decided I wanted and asked her as well and she said that ....I should be fine and that there's no point going to my gp because at 9 weeks they wouldn't find a hb with a dopplar anyway and if the clinic was concerned then they would have sent me for a scan for the HB. SO she told me to just hang in there and try not to worry!!!
Well that's not working out so well for me!!
Realistically I think it will probably be fine, but for some reason the tiniest least logical part of my brain has convinced me that at my 12 week scan which is now booked for the 27th of May will not go well!!
I don't know how to cope between now and then?? Also I havnt told DH about the shock because I just couldn't make myself, I feel like it would freak him out maybe unnecessarily and he may react with anger at me and I couldn't cope with that!! So now if something is wrong at the scan im going to have to just pretend I have no idea why.....
I am doing my head in, does anyone have any idea how to deal with this and the negative thoughts in general?
I have my first midwife appointment on Tuesday, then its only 2 weeks til the scan, I am considering telling the midwife how scared I am and hoping for an earlier scan but I doubt it will happen since my 12 week one is the one to check for downs too, so has to be at 12 weeks I think.
Any coping mechanisms would be greatly appreciated? Or stories of electric shocks??
I ended up ringing the fertility clinic since I hadn't sorted a midwife yet, who said I should be ok.....but I should get my gp the next day to check me out and listen to the hb. Well the next morning I rang the midwife I decided I wanted and asked her as well and she said that ....I should be fine and that there's no point going to my gp because at 9 weeks they wouldn't find a hb with a dopplar anyway and if the clinic was concerned then they would have sent me for a scan for the HB. SO she told me to just hang in there and try not to worry!!!
Well that's not working out so well for me!!
Realistically I think it will probably be fine, but for some reason the tiniest least logical part of my brain has convinced me that at my 12 week scan which is now booked for the 27th of May will not go well!!
I don't know how to cope between now and then?? Also I havnt told DH about the shock because I just couldn't make myself, I feel like it would freak him out maybe unnecessarily and he may react with anger at me and I couldn't cope with that!! So now if something is wrong at the scan im going to have to just pretend I have no idea why.....
I am doing my head in, does anyone have any idea how to deal with this and the negative thoughts in general?
I have my first midwife appointment on Tuesday, then its only 2 weeks til the scan, I am considering telling the midwife how scared I am and hoping for an earlier scan but I doubt it will happen since my 12 week one is the one to check for downs too, so has to be at 12 weeks I think.
Any coping mechanisms would be greatly appreciated? Or stories of electric shocks??
Replies
I think it may be good to talk to your hubby. Worrying about lying is unneeded stress. He may feel nervous, or he may be a person to keep you calm. Either way you need someone to talk to that is right there with you. It\'s great that your Drs are not concerned. Googling things is always hard because there will always be SOMEONE who validates your fears. If you really can\'t wait till the 27th, I would ask to go in early anyways. I\'m sure the appointment will be quick, and you can just see the heartbeat and feel better.
Your body is doing everything to protect the baby. IF anything were to happen with a shock, I\'m sure you would know right away. But trust that your body will let you suffer before the baby. (Think about how the baby pulls all of your nutrients, leaving you feeling tired, but baby is growing like crazy) So when you feel a shock and you are OK, the baby should be a-ok too.
It\'s such a long wait in those first weeks all your fears are so normal. I used to listen to a meditation app and that seemed to help, a little. My downs scan was at 11w4d and that was considered early but it was still fine.
If your to worried, try to get your re to give you an other scan.
I thunk if I were you I would just ask for another scan. It\'s an additional cost, but will ease your mind tremendously.
I am a far to stubborn for my own good, I like to be strong and try to stick to things and not ask for extra help, I cant really explain why im like this, so I have decided I will wait til the midwife on Tuesday, really push home how much I am struggling since the shock and see if she suggests a scan, if not I will stick it out, try to stay calm and wait for the scan!!
As for telling DH, I just cant do it, I feel like its too late now, a lot of this journey I have kept to myself so it just feels like something he doesn\'t need to deal with .....stubborn you see haha
So sorry for your anxiety. We have all felt the anxiety especially the first trimester and even until the end. Take one day at a time. Take deep breaths to help when the panic sets in. Good luck my friend. :-)