really down
i need things to be stable. I need people I can't count on that don't leave. I can't live in such an unsupported vunerable way anymore. everything is falling apart and i can't stop it. why can't people die when they want and need to. why is the world so cruel. i am scared i'm going to lose my parents. my dad and i aren't on good terms (HIS FAULT) but it still hurts and feels like my fault. my therapist said to just be nice to him and somewhat formal and forget about ever having a deeper connection. instead of just cutting him off completely. I know what she means. i can't be this alone. life feels like a nightmare.
Replies
I was estranged from my dad for several years. Then I realized that I wanted a relationship with my father. I also realized I wasn't going to change him. And he wasn't going to change me. I accept him at face value and I also realize that I do truly love him, good, bad and ugly. My parents may not be perfect (neither am I), but they have done so much for me and supported me in their own way. I am happy that I am at a place where I can tell my day "I love you" and mean it.
I don't let Dad push my buttons. I have learned to "speak him language" and I have learned to politely de-escalate or end a conversation if necessary. So much better than "cutting him off".
I think Yard Eggs said it all. Hugs.