really Anxious, And annoyed

So tired of feeling this way, I'm sure it's lack of sleep, Cause I really Didn't get any last night, Again, ALL I Do is lie there. I feel so miserable, I don't want to talk to people  or deal them today.

And just thinking about my situation (Which I know I shouldn't worry About) With this mentally handicapped guy and his family (I know I sound like a broken record) I just keep thinking his behavior might have gotten to his nieces and nephew Head's so much, They might try to come over and hurt me, If I'm doing what they want Or how they would do it, I have seen plenty of psychological movies to know that.
I just wish I could do something about it,

I stay on my own, When my parent's are out of town, If go to a psychiatrist, Therapist or counsellor about this issue with this mentally disabled guy and his family, They might think I'm lonely by myself, Which in fact I actually like it, Makes me feel like I have my own house.
I do my own laundry, make my own food, I really like being independent.

I just  feel like, if I do something about this thing, It might come back to bite me in the ass.

I think I did have some depression when I was a kid, Now it's gotten worse, And can't tell my parent's they'll never leave me alone again, Fear that I will hurt myself.
And last night, My Mom texted me, asking about the weather.....etc, And closed with, Do You miss us? (which my dad my dad probably told her to ask that, He gets a kick out of shit like that, And thinks that's funny)
And yes, their on my mind, But, it's not like I'm gonna call and tell them miss  them every Damn night.........So, she asked that, I just said sure.

My mom does go after me about going gray, Like, When the whole family, We went out to breakfast at the shore, She commented on it, No one else said anything (I know general observation) But, it's mostly brown still.....a few strands of gray, I have a cousin, that's totally gray......And he's younger then me (3 yrs Younger)

Even When I was Younger, everyone picked on me.....My Mom would say......We're laughing with You not at You, Felt like they where laughing at my misery, Cause I got annoyed at myself alot when I was a kid.

So, Yah, it's been a hell of a week..........And it's only Tuesday.