Realizing Being Bi Polar Is Ok

So I used to be part of this community a long time ago just could not remember my log in stuff so I am starting out fresh. First off I am a military spouse. We have two children and well it took my kids being taken away by cps for me to realize that being off my medication is not an option. I went off my meds at the start of this year. I did not like the way they made me feel. I just felt blah( is about the only way I can explain it). I was doing fine up until my grandfather died. Everything went down hill from there. Both of my children have medical issues. I would not want to get up out of bed most days and I would just lay on the couch watching movies with my youngest until my oldest got home from school. The house became a mess. Finally CPS was called and becuse I was ashamed that I was not "normal" and wanted to be like everyone else I got my kids taken away from me. I have since got back on my meds, and working on getting my kids back. I still have really hard days since I am all alone. My husband is overseas at the moment for a couple more months.