Realization

I am coming to a realization the my life is coming to its close. I guess I can't complain. All the pieces seem to fit together nicely. The fag ends of my shallow and hollow existence are being stitched up and the cloth is being folded nicely ready to be set on my maker's bed. I hope he is as forgiving as they all say because i am so sorry for everything. So sorry I don't wanna be here. So sorry that i feel this way day in and day out. Torment in sleep and consciousness is more than i can bare. I wish I could quietly dissappear. Become the ghost and stop the cherade. My facade isn't fooling anyone anymore. I know that when i do go , i will pay for all the things i've done. I've excepted that as well. If there is a heaven then i am on my way to hell. but i understand , we all have our day of reckoning and thats all i deserve.