Reality sucks
Hi honey,
Well, today it's been 10 weeks that you passed away and instead of moving forward, I feel like I'm back to square one. I think the realization of what's happened is starting to set in and I'm hoping this is part of the healing process. I've been keeping busy (thanks mostly to Michael..he's been amazing. I'm going up to Chicago Friday and having dinner with him & Kami and Matt & Julie. Then, Saturday he's taking her on a surprise trip to Nashville for the Keith Urban concert. I'm staying with the boys, then they'll be back Sunday. Here's another "could only happen to Michael" event. He's meeting the President tomorrow. There's also a remote chance that he will get to go on Air Force One. How exciting is that! I know you're not an Obama fan but how many get the opportunity to meet the President one-on-one?
Last Saturday they went to Ken & Sarah's lake house and invited my up for the day. While it was so much fun watching those little boys fishing, canoeing and swimming, I couldn't help thinking how much you would have enjoyed it. Bex asked me if papa was "still night-night"...how do you explain death to a little 2 year old who loved his papa so much. Most of my August weekends are filled with babysitting but 2 weekends they will be here and split time between here & Julie's. It will be the first time having them without you to help out but I can do it.
Jim stayed here last night on his way back home and while I enjoyed visiting with him, it just was so strange having another man (even though we're cousins) in the house. I couldn't stop thinking how you should have been here and enjoying the evening. Of course, he had Fox News on the whole time. He also helped me hang a new picture. I used to think I was pretty independent but I'm slowing how much you did and how much you spoiled me. I miss our everyday life so much. Tonight was an exceptionally bad night and I would do anything to go back a year ago and enjoy all those little things I took advantage of.
Well, I'm going to bed now - I love you and can just hear you say "I love you more'.
Well, today it's been 10 weeks that you passed away and instead of moving forward, I feel like I'm back to square one. I think the realization of what's happened is starting to set in and I'm hoping this is part of the healing process. I've been keeping busy (thanks mostly to Michael..he's been amazing. I'm going up to Chicago Friday and having dinner with him & Kami and Matt & Julie. Then, Saturday he's taking her on a surprise trip to Nashville for the Keith Urban concert. I'm staying with the boys, then they'll be back Sunday. Here's another "could only happen to Michael" event. He's meeting the President tomorrow. There's also a remote chance that he will get to go on Air Force One. How exciting is that! I know you're not an Obama fan but how many get the opportunity to meet the President one-on-one?
Last Saturday they went to Ken & Sarah's lake house and invited my up for the day. While it was so much fun watching those little boys fishing, canoeing and swimming, I couldn't help thinking how much you would have enjoyed it. Bex asked me if papa was "still night-night"...how do you explain death to a little 2 year old who loved his papa so much. Most of my August weekends are filled with babysitting but 2 weekends they will be here and split time between here & Julie's. It will be the first time having them without you to help out but I can do it.
Jim stayed here last night on his way back home and while I enjoyed visiting with him, it just was so strange having another man (even though we're cousins) in the house. I couldn't stop thinking how you should have been here and enjoying the evening. Of course, he had Fox News on the whole time. He also helped me hang a new picture. I used to think I was pretty independent but I'm slowing how much you did and how much you spoiled me. I miss our everyday life so much. Tonight was an exceptionally bad night and I would do anything to go back a year ago and enjoy all those little things I took advantage of.
Well, I'm going to bed now - I love you and can just hear you say "I love you more'.
Replies
What a honor it is to be able to meet the President, and maybe be able to go on air force one!!! Whether you agree with the President\'s admin or not!!! That\'ll be so esciting for him!!!
Your Grandson saying Is Papa still \"night night\" I\'m sure braks your heart. Breaks mine just reading it.
Your cousin had Fox News on the shole time huh? My Greg used to have it on ALL the time! I think i know every show! Still have those shows on continuous DVR because I don\'t have the heart to cancel the recordings. Brings a tear everytime I go in there.
It\'s so hard, especially in the beginning of all this I know. It will get a little better, than worse, than a little better again. In a phrase though you are right. Reality DOES SUCK.
Hopes for better days to come. HUGS Diane
Thanks Diane.The encouragement found here is so comforting. How long has your husband been gone?
Judy; hang in there. I had a week like that a couple of weeks ago, I cried everyday when I got home from work; and barely held it together while I was at work. There were several things that came up with the estate, etc that week and they all hit me the wrong way. Once I dealt with all of those items some of the weight was lifted. I think the shock wears off slowly, as our brain thinks we can handle it. Once I got through that week, I have fealt a lot better dealing with the new reality! There are still tears and good and bad moments, and a long way to go, but I feel like I am moving forward a little more each day. In time, you will too.