Reality.

I feel very weird tonight. I had to go to the Emergency Room because i was having chest pains. It was pretty bad. I sat in the waiting room for about 45 minuets and then i went back into the triage area. I felt so scared for some reason. I honestly have no idea why. I kept on thinking i was going to loose touch with reality and that thought is absolutely terrifying to me. I kept second guessing everything, i wondered if anyone around me was real or not, and it scared me. I KNOW i am real. I know i am in touch with reality, but at the same time i feel as if i am not. I hate this feeling. I was having memories that i didn't want to have, and it seemed as if they were right in front of me. It was almost like watching a video tape in my mind. I saw myself , in labor and delivery, all alone. I was in the triage area all alone tonight too. I was hooked up to heart monitors while i was there tonight, but, in my mind, i was hooked up to a non stress test, that they use when you're in labor. The alarm went off because i was moving so much when i had the pulse rate thing on my finger, and all i could think about and see in my mind was me crying, wondering if my baby was going to be okay, because the monitor in labor and delivery had went off, just like it did tonight. All i could think about was why are they not doing anything, are they going to save my baby, whats going on..... Even though, i KNEW i was in the emergency room triage area tonight, and NOT in labor and delivery on a non stress test... I'm so overwhelmed right now, and i hope what you just read made sense to you. :(. I am so afraid of loosing touch with reality once again, and i keep having to tell myself, you're not loosing touch with reality, its all in you're mind. Is feeling like you're going to lose touch with reality, and snap at any moment and have a psychotic episode, normal with for people with PTSD? Does anyone else feel this way, or am i really just crazy? :(

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I see that you\'re on a bi-polar support group. I have a dear friend who is bi-polar and she\'s described similar feelings before she was on right meds. She lives a normal life now and is the mom of a 3 year old. Had she not told me, I\'d never know. I\'m just guessing your meds may need to be adjusted.