Ready to hang it up
I am so frustrated, angry, disgusted, in other words I have had enough! Almost 3 weeks ago now from Saturday to Sunday i gained 20lbs!!!! My feet, ankles and calves filled up with fluid again. I was put on 20mg furosemide. Did nothing. Saw my dr he upped it to 40 mg. Still nothing. Now on monday saw my NP and she upped it to 80 mg. This was on this past monday. Tuesday I started it and could have taken a blanket and pillow in there that's how well it worked. The next morning weighed myself down 3, today down a total of 4.....whoopee. I also am not going anymore than normal. Then today I had a video appt with my pulmonologist and yes I still have my pneumonia. It is better than a month ago. But it is still there. Now trees are budding so allergies are starting to so is making breathing even harder. Right now he is as frustrated as me and is doing nothing, yes you read it right I said NOTHING! If it gets worse call him. Don't get me wrong he truly is a great pulmonologist I just have this innate ability to confuse and frustrate doctors. Actually not me my body does. Thinking about as I am writing maybe this not a bad idea. I have my inhaler, cough syrup with codeine and my nebulizer. Let my lungs heal on there own. Worry more about the fluid in my body which in turn could help my lungs also.
All I can say is I am so sick of being sick. I cant get anything done because I get wiped out so fast. I still have to finish my living room and it is driving me insane. I am going to do a little this morning. Then pack as I am going out to Joey's until tomorrow late afternoon probably. Good I can get laundry done too, need to badly. I do not want anyone saying anything about the pandemic. I have been enough places where I could get it. I can not be forced to not see my son and his family. If I get it and die that is how God wants to call me home. I am not letting the news fill me with fear. I feel a good amount of it is scare tactics. Dont get me wrong I do know many, many people have died from it and my prayers are sent for all of them. I just can not live in fear especially when it comes to my family. I mean just this week I was in the clinic and had blood tests that showed through white blood cells I have no infection an for xrays at the hospitalthe. Plus I have been going grocery shopping etc. And I found out last week that for sure 1 possibly 2 people have had it in my building. They both stayed in their apartments and even that does not scare me.
My mental health is as important as my physical which for the last few years has been problematic. Seeing my littles will cheer me up so much and getting the unconditional love from them Will heal me more than hurt me.
I hope I have not offended anyone as not my intention I just have to take care of me.
Love to each and everyone of my sisters of the heart ❤
Susie
Replies
Seeing my littles always lightens my heart. Take care of you and enjoy those littles! Blessings and love
Terri Tony n Mikey’s ma
Mngramma,
This is just what I needed. I spent some alone time with each of them and the 4 of us together too. These kids mean so much to me as I have half raised them
The sad thing is I see history repeating itself. Momma is drinking. This friend of theirs brings the bottle over everyday for her before Joe gets home. I do not care if it is just 1 drink or 10 she has a problem. Logan told his daddy about it. That's all I know. Joey had it hard with his dad so I cant believe he will tolerate this. She has also tried to commit suicide twice and Logan saw her on the gurney unconscious this last time.He is 10 so he wont forget it. I am his go to because he knows he can trust me. I will only tell when he asks me to.
All this adds to my stress which makes it harder to heal. But I am working o. It ery hard to turn it over to God as He will protect my littles.
But like I said the unconditional love these 3 give me is my true joy. Next I need an Aydan fix who turns 5 months tomorrow. I have missed 5 weeks and he has changed so much. Soon I will get my peanut.
Love❤
Susie mom of Jerred
OH Susie, what an ordeal with your health! I'm so sorry. One aspect of all of it would be enough....you must stay exhausted from it all. I do hope and pray your body will heal soon.
I'm sure being with family will help lift your spirits, even with all the drama that can sometimes pop up. That's the biggest, hardest change for most people during this pandemic, not being able to visit with friends and family. We are meant to be social, it's in our nature to have those connections. I never imagined the US would be in a situation like this! And I agree, I think a lot of the news we're getting fed is for ratings and not to simply update the reality of the situation. ALL news media have their biases and they report "the news" from their own personal beliefs, likes and dislikes. To me, that is NOT news!
May this all be over soon!!
Love and hugs,
Teri
Teri,
You also have to remember it is an election year. So Trump is sending out all this money to different groups of people, which is a good thing since he literally shut us down. I do believe there is the virus and many are dying BUT when you listen close the majority had underlying conditions. A friend of mine in California said he was talk with one of his trusted friends who is a nurse. She told him out of all the deaths in CA only 1 was actually from the virus. The rest had other issues and got the virus, they were already dying from the other issues the virus just speeded it up. Makes me angry all this false news, either tell the truth or dont say a thing
Love ya
Susie