Ready to blow up
I was off yesterday, and I'm off again today. My job owes me 56 hours of vacation time and cannot give me a week plus off before the end of the year, so we are splitting it up. Anyway.....
My h works a regular full time job, plus he has an auto shop that he goes to every evening after getting off work. Some days he comes home from his first job to shower and change before going to the shop, some days he heads straight there. We never know which it will be. In fact, we never know when he will be home at all. I called him at 5 PM as I was cooking dinner to ask if he would be home first or was heading straight to the shop. He told me he wasn't sure and we left it at that. So, in essence, I still had no idea what time he would be home.
At 6:30 our 16 year old daughter asked if it was safe for her to go do her hair in the bathroom. I told her yes, as if he's coming home first he is nearly always there no later than 6. At 7, he walks in. She is still in the bathroom fixing her hair, he goes in the bedroom and begins to strip down to his boxers and wife-beater (ironic name for those shirts isn't it?) as he typically does when he is going to shower. I ask if he will be staying home (thinking it is already so late, I figure he must not be going to the shop tonight) and should I start cooking his vegetables. He begins yelling at me that if he had known he wouldn't have been able to take an f'ing shower, he would have just headed straight to the shop anyway (still not answering my question). I tell him that he can take a shower, our daughter will gladly finish her hair when he gets out. He screams at me that it is already f'ing 7:00 (all while expecting me to go tell her to get out of the bathroom for him, I've played this game a time or two). I do. She readily complies; unplugs the curling iron and goes into the living room to get on her iPod. I go back in the bedroom, smile and say "There you go. Bathroom's all yours. She got out for you." He begins putting BACK on the clothes he has just removed, slamming drawers and screaming that he will take an f'ing shower whenever the hell he wants to and that he is sick of this shit. He then proceeds to slam out of the house, slamming the puppy's head in the door (who had been trying to follow him) and knocking pictures off the walls with the force of the door slamming. Well.....Both girls sit there looking stunned and the youngest insists that I must have said something to him to make him so angry, but honestly I tell them I said nothing I was aware of and leave it at that.
He deigns to grace us with his presence at about 10 PM. I had cooked Stouffer's chicken alfredo for dinner. I cooked him some broccoli to go with it and heated the alfredo up. About thirty minutes after taking the plate to him, I then go into the bedroom (where he always eats) to retrieve the plate and see that he hasn't eaten much of the alfredo. I don't say a word about it because honestly I had no desire to hear him talk at this point. He snarls at me as I'm picking up the plate that he thought there was supposed to be chicken in there. Now, I'm at a loss what to say because clearly when I had taken him the plate, there HAD been chicken in it, he must have eaten that then decided to accuse me of picking the chicken out of his? Well, whatever, again I smile and say "I'm sorry there wasn't enough chicken in it" and leave before he can respond. I then do the dishes and head off to bed.
He's awake, but when I walk in he makes a ridiculous show of proving to me how much he is ignoring me by forcefully turning onto his side facing away from me. I ignore him and thankfully he falls asleep.
Now....today, I decide it is time I make copies of documents I will need when I see the attorney. I know that N's can be notorious for hiding assets and such. He has a large filing cabinet in our bedroom where he keeps his (haphazardly stored) documents. This box has never been locked in the two years that it has been here. I know this because he regularly has me retrieve documents to bring to him when I'm off work. Imagine my surprise, and morbid curiosity when I try it and it won't open--it's locked. Now I'm really wanting to get in there. After quite a search, I locate the keys outside in an old truck that's been sitting out front. Wow!
First of all, the marriage certificate is gone. Completely gone. It was there two weeks ago, so I have NO idea where he has taken it to for "safe keeping". Second, he has not one, but two checking accounts and a savings that I have no knowledge of (well, I do now). There is a bank envelope (the ones they give you your money back in) in there (yes, he's a pack rat) that a female has written "Thank you so much" and surrounded with hearts and x's and o's. (Guess he loaned someone money and kept the freaking envelope she used to pay him back in). The biggest shock were the car titles. He owns five cars (two mustangs, a truck, our daughter's car, and the one RV now, okay six because there is the new car also) that I know of. There are NINE titles in this box and NOT ONE OF THEM IS ONE OF THOSE SIX CARS. He also has a copy of my drivers license and social security card mixed in with the titles and has apparently already titled one of these nine in my name. (Don't know how in hell he keeps doing that). At this point, I've had enough and cannot stomach going through this box anymore. Oh wait...there was also the check stub from the IRS. He claimed one of our daughter's (whom he refuses to actually support) and he got back $4200 in March. HE told ME that he didn't get anything back from taxes because he owed a previous year's balance (my fault of course), but the proof was right there in my face.
However, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I didn't go through the box any more, but I then started looking through other things. Oh God I wish I hadn't. I found the boxes for the brand new iPad mini and keyboard/case/stand he just purchased for himself, and the box for a new gas powered, remote control helicopter he bought himself. All this would have been after he told me he would not contribute more to the household because it wasn't "fair" to him. Lying, entitled piece of slime.
There, I feel better now!
My h works a regular full time job, plus he has an auto shop that he goes to every evening after getting off work. Some days he comes home from his first job to shower and change before going to the shop, some days he heads straight there. We never know which it will be. In fact, we never know when he will be home at all. I called him at 5 PM as I was cooking dinner to ask if he would be home first or was heading straight to the shop. He told me he wasn't sure and we left it at that. So, in essence, I still had no idea what time he would be home.
At 6:30 our 16 year old daughter asked if it was safe for her to go do her hair in the bathroom. I told her yes, as if he's coming home first he is nearly always there no later than 6. At 7, he walks in. She is still in the bathroom fixing her hair, he goes in the bedroom and begins to strip down to his boxers and wife-beater (ironic name for those shirts isn't it?) as he typically does when he is going to shower. I ask if he will be staying home (thinking it is already so late, I figure he must not be going to the shop tonight) and should I start cooking his vegetables. He begins yelling at me that if he had known he wouldn't have been able to take an f'ing shower, he would have just headed straight to the shop anyway (still not answering my question). I tell him that he can take a shower, our daughter will gladly finish her hair when he gets out. He screams at me that it is already f'ing 7:00 (all while expecting me to go tell her to get out of the bathroom for him, I've played this game a time or two). I do. She readily complies; unplugs the curling iron and goes into the living room to get on her iPod. I go back in the bedroom, smile and say "There you go. Bathroom's all yours. She got out for you." He begins putting BACK on the clothes he has just removed, slamming drawers and screaming that he will take an f'ing shower whenever the hell he wants to and that he is sick of this shit. He then proceeds to slam out of the house, slamming the puppy's head in the door (who had been trying to follow him) and knocking pictures off the walls with the force of the door slamming. Well.....Both girls sit there looking stunned and the youngest insists that I must have said something to him to make him so angry, but honestly I tell them I said nothing I was aware of and leave it at that.
He deigns to grace us with his presence at about 10 PM. I had cooked Stouffer's chicken alfredo for dinner. I cooked him some broccoli to go with it and heated the alfredo up. About thirty minutes after taking the plate to him, I then go into the bedroom (where he always eats) to retrieve the plate and see that he hasn't eaten much of the alfredo. I don't say a word about it because honestly I had no desire to hear him talk at this point. He snarls at me as I'm picking up the plate that he thought there was supposed to be chicken in there. Now, I'm at a loss what to say because clearly when I had taken him the plate, there HAD been chicken in it, he must have eaten that then decided to accuse me of picking the chicken out of his? Well, whatever, again I smile and say "I'm sorry there wasn't enough chicken in it" and leave before he can respond. I then do the dishes and head off to bed.
He's awake, but when I walk in he makes a ridiculous show of proving to me how much he is ignoring me by forcefully turning onto his side facing away from me. I ignore him and thankfully he falls asleep.
Now....today, I decide it is time I make copies of documents I will need when I see the attorney. I know that N's can be notorious for hiding assets and such. He has a large filing cabinet in our bedroom where he keeps his (haphazardly stored) documents. This box has never been locked in the two years that it has been here. I know this because he regularly has me retrieve documents to bring to him when I'm off work. Imagine my surprise, and morbid curiosity when I try it and it won't open--it's locked. Now I'm really wanting to get in there. After quite a search, I locate the keys outside in an old truck that's been sitting out front. Wow!
First of all, the marriage certificate is gone. Completely gone. It was there two weeks ago, so I have NO idea where he has taken it to for "safe keeping". Second, he has not one, but two checking accounts and a savings that I have no knowledge of (well, I do now). There is a bank envelope (the ones they give you your money back in) in there (yes, he's a pack rat) that a female has written "Thank you so much" and surrounded with hearts and x's and o's. (Guess he loaned someone money and kept the freaking envelope she used to pay him back in). The biggest shock were the car titles. He owns five cars (two mustangs, a truck, our daughter's car, and the one RV now, okay six because there is the new car also) that I know of. There are NINE titles in this box and NOT ONE OF THEM IS ONE OF THOSE SIX CARS. He also has a copy of my drivers license and social security card mixed in with the titles and has apparently already titled one of these nine in my name. (Don't know how in hell he keeps doing that). At this point, I've had enough and cannot stomach going through this box anymore. Oh wait...there was also the check stub from the IRS. He claimed one of our daughter's (whom he refuses to actually support) and he got back $4200 in March. HE told ME that he didn't get anything back from taxes because he owed a previous year's balance (my fault of course), but the proof was right there in my face.
However, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I didn't go through the box any more, but I then started looking through other things. Oh God I wish I hadn't. I found the boxes for the brand new iPad mini and keyboard/case/stand he just purchased for himself, and the box for a new gas powered, remote control helicopter he bought himself. All this would have been after he told me he would not contribute more to the household because it wasn't "fair" to him. Lying, entitled piece of slime.
There, I feel better now!
Replies
I would make copies if at all possible. Certainly take pictures of what you found. Make sure the numbers are legible. Then talk to your attorney.
What a deceptive man. Knowledge is power.
Definitely take pictures of everything and email them to yourself, then remove them from whatever you took them with. As rainbow said, knowledge is power and proof of what you know is even better.