Ready? Not Ready... Ready? Not Ready... Ready?

Ok, so I kept my profile up on E-Harmony.  I have no idea why.  About every other day I get matches.  The first one as I mentioned before was a terrible match, but since then, however, it's been getting better.   An attorney with 2 children  under 10 years old 45 minutes away (Ummm, I'm not much of a mom, a grandma - yes, mom - no)... the airline pilot who is gone ALOT and I have a fear of flying, lol... and about 10 guys who would be perfect except for the 12 hour drive to meet each other, lol.  
And then there was the match in Draper.   3 hours away.  I liked the answers to his questions, the fact that he lives in South Dakota is a plus, lol.   He's a farmer, doesn't drink or smoke, is 57 (I turn 50 next year), and the only thing I find iffy is the fact that he's a gun hobbiest.  But that's no biggie - my X was too, most guys out here are...
So I SHOULD send him an icebreaker just to say hi... and don't, lol.   That darn first question (Ready? Not Ready?) comes up and I get cold feet. In fact, last night was so bad that even though I was exhausted, this and the work issues were flooding my mind as I lay there, to the point that I had to literally tell myself to SHUT UP!    
A friend told me last week that after being a single mom for 7 years, she's found a new guy... a really great new guy.   Just all of a sudden, in her town, fitting her perfectly - they met through their children being friends at school.   She says God brought him to her when she was ready.  You know, I believe in that - it's how I met my X, and if it weren't for the alcoholism, he'd still be perfect too... so maybe I should just step back, work on me, and wait for that miracle to happen again... and yet I still keep that profile open, lol... Man, I'm such a basket case, lol.  LATER!

Replies

new2free
new2free

NO you\'re not a basket case. Just leave it open and see whether that perfect guy shows up on there while you are having fun living your own life anyway.
No harm can come from that. You will know when you feel like contacting one that is worth the effort. For the meantime don\'t beat yourself up about it.
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi

I don\'t think you should rule anyone out due to distance. When I joined eHarmony I didn\'t put any geographical limitations on matches EXCEPT that they be within the continental U.S. I figured that if a match and I made it through all the Guided Communication steps and emailed and talked on the phone a bunch that sooner or later we would decide to meet halfway somewhere. You just never know about these things, but I knew for sure I wasn\'t interested in dating anyone from right around here. 54 years of living under a microscope (read: in the same little area where everybody knows everybody\'s business) was plenty enough for this cowgirl.
Then, lo and behold, Tom came up as a match. While he lived 40 miles away (and was working as a charter pilot, by the way) that was enough distance. We didn\'t have any people in common, either, which really worked out great because I was more than ready to meet some new folks and make new friends.

I say listen to your gut and NEVER settle! You can find out a whole lot about people by listening carefully --not just to what they say, but from what they DON\'T say.
mtnlionbait
mtnlionbait

Ok! Thanks for that! I\'ll keep this open and see where this leads!
sadwone
sadwone

Keep it open!!! I know what you mean about the cold feet, but I went on match .com and forced myself to meet some people. It was impotant to me in some ways to know that i was still desirable and that there are good people out there. I went on not expecting much..just figured Id go out and meet a few nice people and that would be it. Low and behold, I met Andy and we have been together for over a year and a half. So remember, no one says you will find the man of your dreams right away, but you definatly wont find him unless you get out there and start meeting some people. It is a numbers game...you may need to go on some dates for awhile. Nothing serious, just date. And have fun with it! And you never know, one of them just might be \"the one\"!