Reaching a crescendo...

The voices & faces of those that surround me become more distant like they're fading away from my consciousness; my inner turmoil along with my unsettled soul is drowning out their support and blinding my vision; my consent to surrender is my last major decision; therefore my self-destruction will be my final mission...I'm losing touch with the present, severing ties & feeling more distant. Depression is winning; going in for the final killing - injecting it's posion called 'isolation' into my vein & self-destruction will eventually reign.  I'm paralyzed by my helplessness, self-doubt, and hopelessness; I'm on pause; just waiting for death's solicitation & the grim reaper's dinner invitation...
I'm informed suicide is the most selfish act; really? is this a concrete fact? if the hurt & pain are relentless, why should I be forced to remain here defenseless? I'm informed suicide is the coward's easy exit; since when is death an easy commitment? It's like they want to see me suffer so they have someone to take pity on and & compare themselves to & make them feel better when they are low. I just see death as the ONLY way to end this suffering; I have no visions of hope; feeling absolutely helpless and defeated - I'm slowly giving up. There's just no way out of this especially when I feel there's even more challenges ahead. This frustration/anger/bitterness/is reaching a crescendo; while my self-worth's rating plummets below zero...it's direction is focused inward; I'm about to implode/self-destruct/combust - stand back!...