Ranting again.

It just flabbergasts me that I  can not get any kind of help, like cleaning, medical assistance costs me more than a private insurance company that I pay a higher rate for so that I do not have any copays.  I get $16.00 in food support. I do not even get 20 grand a year and it is too much?????

 I have a very hard time cleaning as my low back hurts so bad and my legs start to go out on me. I get paid on the 3rd and by the 6th I am broke. That's paying my bills and buying groceries. It is not buying myself anything special, clothes, it is even hard to get a hair cut. My only lucky thing is I live in a HUD apartment. That means I pay 1/3 of the rent plus it is lakeside and for some odd reason water calms me, just not rivers. 

I don't like that the government interferes and lowers the amount of help a person can get. In reality it would be extremely difficult to live on $25 thousand a year but oh boy I would love to have that much.

I have been year 10 years and am in the process of recertifying for year 11. The hoops I have to go through is aggravating, frustrating, maddening and very stressful. The more i prove of medical bills and over the counter the more that is deducted from my rent. Now mind you normally the process begins in October since my lease ends January 31st. Well we have such horrible management right now we started the last week of January and now because she screwed up she is putting all the pressure on me. Funniest of all is I could do it myself better than she does it.

With having pneumonia, putting Skippy down, pain in shoulder blade this is the last thing I needed this week. She is rude, lazy and seriously stupid. 

I have put 2 major maintenance orders in and nothing has been done. The first is our front security door, our only entrance, most of the time we do not need  our key and when we do it is just about to the point of not working. On this she tried to tell me they have fixed it and been out twice. I proved her wrong. Then our elevator  is making horrible noises and shakes. She is so lazy she has never been in the elevator. I told her take a ride as we are becoming afraid we will get stuck in it.

Ok feel better getting that out and Jerr is shining.

Hugs & love to all



OH Susie...... I hardly know what to say. You're having to deal with SO much! TOO MUCH!

One serious issue to have to deal with is hard enough, but having both health problems and financial problems, I'm sure you feel overwhelmed and often defeated. My heart aches for you. I've never had serious health concerns as an adult, but I can, to a degree, relate to your financial situation. After my divorce, the kids and I had a rough few years. I made $12,000/year (poverty at that time was $12, 300) and although child support had been awarded to me (which knocked me out of receiving any sort of financial aide), he rarely paid it, and when he did, he was always late and short on the amount. I took him to court once. It was a Friday and mine was the last case of the day. By the time it was my turn the judge was tired and ready to go home...it was SO obvious. His only statement to my ex was, "Mr. Brown, you need to do better". That was it, court was over and nothing changed. There were many times I'd feed my kids and tell them I'd already eaten. I cried many tears knowing I had to say no to so many of the things they wanted....a McDonald's hamburger, a new bike, whatever. NOT comparing, just letting you know I too have had some struggles and can empathize with your situation.

Is there anyone in charge over the building manager whom you can contact regarding the maintenance issues? These are serious issues which must be dealt with ASAP!

I'm not sure what your relationship is currently like with your sons, I know there have been problems in the past, but is there anything they can do to help you out a little....at least for a little while. Perhaps even contact the apartment management to demand repairs be made? Sometimes a mans voice on the other end of the phone can get more action....sad and wrong as that is! And what about your daughters in-law, could they help out with the cleaning?

I'm truly hoping and praying for relief for you, both physically and financially.

Keep shining brightly Jerred!!!

Oh Teri I know you were not comparing and the funny but not is I went through the same thing when the boys were younger. The boys both are doing big projects on their homes so no they cant help. Jono does pay me when I babysit Aydan, Joey never paid me and I have half raised my 3 littles there. His wife makes the kids clean their large house while she sits and plays on her phone. This sounds horrible but a divorce is in the future and I cant wait. The kids want nothing to do with her they want their daddy. She tried to commit suicide the week of Halloween and the kids saw her laying close to death on their kitchen floor. Ever since then the eggshells when she is in the house are hard to walk through. Jonos wife is very busy with her job and with Aydan only being 4 months I could not ask her for help. Her plate is full.
I just do what I can then sit for twice the amount I worked and keep going that way. It is just even harder right now having pneumonia for so long. Take last pill of antibiotic today and actually feel worse than before I started it. See my primary care dr Monday. So we will see what happens.
I am just ranting here to get it out of my system, it just feels freeing to get it out and easier to handle. Thank you for reading and talking to me about this stuff as it also helps. Much more than you know.

Sometimes a good rant helps me too. It doesn’t change anything but it sure can help to get it out. Sometimes it just feels like one more little thing is all we need to break us. I agree with Teri in that sometimes it takes a man’s voice to get things done. I don’t know why. It is not right but sometimes my husband or son can get more done. I sure hope you get some relief soon in one of these areas so that you feel better, can cope financially better or feel like just for a few minutes there is hope! Love and prayers.

That's exactly why I wrote it was to get it out instead of letting it fester inside me.
I do have hope,, rumors have it that they are going to update the entire bldg. Roofers have already checked out the roof and plan on starting next month.
I am working on figuring out who the district managers boss is because she is just as worthless. My other idea is to talk to an investigative reporter on one of the local channels as the company that owns the bldg is the largest non profit HUD housing in the 5 state area.
Being sick this long has had me out of it and just not able to think quite straight yet. Once I am healthier I am going to get on it.

I think sometimes I'm the queen of ranting, LOL! I do think it's helpful if for no other reason than it is a release of the energy we have inside of us. And sometimes, in the rant, we can see a solution we hadn't thought of before, or someone brave enough to listen to our rant, LOL, will offer a thought that we hadn't yet thought of. So, I say rant away as often as needed!! I DO!!

Oh dont worry I will. And we will see who is queen...lol.

Just got a text from my youngest Joey.. Mom am going to need help. The governor is shutting down all k-12 schools by Wednesday.
So I will be going out there Tuesday and come home either thursday evening or friday morning. Dont know about the following week as he has them closed through the 27th. But I cant do 4 or 5 days in a row. But if I dont they leave them home alone and I disagree that a 10 yr old can be in charge of an 8 and 6 yr old who fight alot. Arggggg will have to see what my primary says tomorrow.