Ranting

Aparently taking all of the 3 sciences (physics, bio and chem) in university level or AP wasnt such a bright idea. Maybe i shouldnt have taken AP world history or AP advance functions like really wat the fuck was i thinking!!!Im stressing like i have never done before, because i have so much work and extremely high expectations. Thus my tear duct or whatever u call them are really sensitive and likely to go off on ohh well: restaurants, movies, school, middle of the street whatever damn place you wanna name. Anything can lead to yet another down. Im seriously as in desperatly omfg what am i gonna do crashing at least twice a week. Losing weight like crazy (and i should actually be gaining weight not losing it) and worst cutting wayy to much and had been seriously close to my parents noticing. Although knowing my mum she would just be in denial. I swear I could tell her i fell and thats how i got a deep cut in my wrist (next to 4 other healing ones) and she would believe me. Cause no one wants to know the truth not really. NO one wants to face those consequences. Of looking under the surface. They are afraid of what is actually under there waiting to come out. And who could blame them? most of the time jeez i dont want to know whats happening to other people, out of curiosity sure, but to really help them and not one time but several. Commitment? You pretty much just decribed one of my greatest weaknesses: commitment and consequence issues. Not in the im too careless but im not careless im afraid to take any decision because i dont wanna have to say that is screwed myself up and its my fault.Cause its always easier to blame someone else. Have a scapegoat. Just be the victim period.