Rambling about Just Another Day

   I didn't know in which group to post this. So, I just decided to type it in this journal. New Years Eve is here, and soon, it will be New Years Day. I didn't feel much during Christmas, Thanksgiving, or my birthday. I'm not going to feel much on New Years Day either. I feel bad for not feeling happy. I feel as though that I am supposed to be happy about the holidays.

   Yet, I never really know what to say about them. Just like last year and the year before that, New Years Day is going to feel like just another day. Sure, there will be short occasional moments where I laugh. Those moments will be short, and in the end of the day, I'm giong to not feel much except some disappointment or hatred for myself like right now. I can't image myself making a change for the better. If I do, I don't want to get my hopes up. If I get a job this year, I'm probably going to blow it or embarrass myself or something. I think what I'm trying to say is that I feel empty or hollow or not as happy as I should be.

   I don't know. I guess I wanted to this off my chest or something. Happy New Years to everyone.