rainy morning
I am happy to be fairly happy today. I still mis my darling every minute, but I am more accepting that he is where he is supposed to be - in Heaven, wherever that is, and I am here. I am trying to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing. I guess just loving myself and other people to the best of my ability. I am so relieved that the earliest part of my suffering is done. I still have greif attacks that can last days, but at least I know they'll pass eventually. Grief is so hard because I don't seem to have any control over it or even know what triggers it.
I am enjoying fall colors in this part of the world. I was on a walk yesterday and got rained on! Chilly! But I need to walk more. My cooking has improved. Next year I want to grow more vegetables. I think I can. I supplied a restaurant with tomatoes this year. I just couldn't can with my canning partner, J, gone. And then my next door neighbor died and we had always gardened and canned together. I didn't even get the jars out this year. I hope to put out a bee hive in April. J and I had taken a class in bee keeping, but I don't know if I can do it or not. I need to help from someone experienced.
New activities, sacred harp singings, birdwalks, are going pretty well. I haven't been able to untangle any family problems regarding the care of J's father, but he is still plugging along in his mid nineties despite my fears and forebodings, so I guess I can let go of that.
I feel pretty peaceful this A.M. I have a long day of school, but since I only do it 2 times a week now I kind of look forward to it.
I am so grateful to the peopel on this site who have helped me so much.
I am also thankful for:
my jobette (not enough to be called a job)
my improved cooking and eating
letting go of my FIL and BIL and they're still going
my house and its cosiness
dogs and cats
warm clothes and sweaters.
work done for the morning.
knowing I'll see my darling again when the time is right (sigh...)
DS community!
I am enjoying fall colors in this part of the world. I was on a walk yesterday and got rained on! Chilly! But I need to walk more. My cooking has improved. Next year I want to grow more vegetables. I think I can. I supplied a restaurant with tomatoes this year. I just couldn't can with my canning partner, J, gone. And then my next door neighbor died and we had always gardened and canned together. I didn't even get the jars out this year. I hope to put out a bee hive in April. J and I had taken a class in bee keeping, but I don't know if I can do it or not. I need to help from someone experienced.
New activities, sacred harp singings, birdwalks, are going pretty well. I haven't been able to untangle any family problems regarding the care of J's father, but he is still plugging along in his mid nineties despite my fears and forebodings, so I guess I can let go of that.
I feel pretty peaceful this A.M. I have a long day of school, but since I only do it 2 times a week now I kind of look forward to it.
I am so grateful to the peopel on this site who have helped me so much.
I am also thankful for:
my jobette (not enough to be called a job)
my improved cooking and eating
letting go of my FIL and BIL and they're still going
my house and its cosiness
dogs and cats
warm clothes and sweaters.
work done for the morning.
knowing I'll see my darling again when the time is right (sigh...)
DS community!
Replies
Edith, I\'m so glad you are feeling better and getting past your grief. Reading your post gives me hope that there comes a time when we accept the loss and start to live a little again. I\'m still at the beginning of this journey, and at this point it\'s hard for me to see any normalcy let alone, happiness down the road from where I am. Thank you for your post. It really helps to know that we will all get there some day. Good bless! Connie
I\'m grateful for YOU and your positive attitude!
Doye