Rainy and Sad

Hey AllWell its been awhile since I wrote. Wednesday was a so so day I took a shower and went to the Sleep Study wed night. It went ok but my mask is making sore on my face. Wednesday at the sleep study I didn't sleep the best so Thursday I slept and made up for it. Thursday night I got a headache and still have one. Can't get rid of it. Friday was full of headache and homework. Had to make up for the class I missed and the Today I'm really sad Last night I found out a ds member died and it may have been overdose. She was a good friend of mine but was very suicidal and she promise she wouldn't do it but it go to much for her. She couldn't handle the finances and pain. She got 500 dollars a month for ssi and thats it. She had 13 cents for groceries after bills for this month. Can you imagine not having no food. I've never been that bad but I 've been bad enough that mom help us out many times.She said the state said she made to much money for help which I think sucks. She had a dog and a new cat she adore and now what will happen to them. I'm so upset that it really bothering me. I was suicidal once and I guess it brings back bad memories. She also had a bad childhood and was getting counceling. She didn't call Thursday night and her brother im me on friday night telling me she was dead. i talk to him and they don't know what happen to her yet. Life sucks sometimes. Well today I have a smile that she is with God and not suffering but the way she went made me sad. My friend that has cancer had biopsy and going to start treatments soon. Well that all I can say for now. How can I smile when so much is happening. We don't know when our time will come. I wrote about my dad in discussion board for school for a project in interpersonal communication class. It feels good to get it out. My dad disowns me, My dad in cananda dies,my friend dies and then my other friend has cancer.Geez God help me. Thanks for listening . Love ya all. Can I smile and feel sad to? I feel bad complaining because I know for a fact someone's got it worse but I just wanted to vent some thanks.Robin