Rain funky Rain Pain...
Day three is here..it's cool and wet...dang old sun aint come out yet.........my fibro aint mellow...these joints all ache...gosh darn i don't know how much i can take.......i feel so alone in my pain, prayin I can keep my big grumpy mouth shut.I'm always grumpy at times.. but when it rains i say mean things .It's like a war in my mind..anger, loneliness, and frustrations all three goin at it ....A great cloud of dust.. sparks flyin, chunks of rocks and debree from the fray.twirl about my mind like a dark twister up rootin my feilds of thought...layin wasite to my hard work to maintain a moral respectable me.........I hide more in my room...memories of my abusive childhood spark up the flames of anger....I battle with the emotions and wonder Why....why must I relive this terrible memories over and over.... year after year.... the pain remains as fresh as the first time...the mean abusive slander still rings in my deaf ears....it was all my fault....it is still all my fault...........I feel so alone, unneeded miss understood... neglected and forgotten...my soul hungers for a mate to complete this life...I gotta go....hide in my room... and pray for the sun..........Oh looky a break in the clouds.... of doubt... a ray of Son is shining thru...Russ
Replies
You put so much emotion into your words. I could almost feel your pain.
I hear the pain in your words and feel for you my friend.As a child I never knew abuse as you have iam sure you still have a lot to deal with.You are bigger than that old monster of your past russ,you are even bigger and stronger then depression.You will always be bigger!!
Prayers and many get better thoughts are on the way to you my friend.Refuse to be defeated because if you give in your abusers win and you lose.Fight and kiss their butts even if its only in your mind.Think about it okay?
Big hugs as always Rachel
OMG I meant to say kick their butts and I still mean it ..lol
That should make you laugh heh heh!!
;D
gee kiss or kickin lol...i got blisters on my lips... she had em on her toes lol..I\'m always prayin for Son shine...amen