Racing Thoughts II
The Indy 500 between my ears continues on its tight spin through the track. The Roadkill Cafe is tending to the needs of machines and man in the pits beneath the bleachers. The painted bimbos are all young at heart beneath their surgically maintained cleavage. The peanut vendors in the stands are profiting by keeping the local wildlife well fed. Hubs is psychopating down the paths that are his to sort. The simplicity we have agreed upon is that neither one of us was good company yesterday. We are *not worse* today. Plying therapy tools. To each, her/his own.
Decompression meditations are the intrusive thoughts which have been providing me a lifeline this morning. These meditations were born during my most intensive therapy years during the late 80's and early 90's when my still young and cute sons and company were binging on deep sea movies. "The Bends," a common diving and areonautic danger which was used with dramatic flourish in several of those deep sea adventure movies. Divers, in particular, pay especial attention to mindfulness and prevention of the bends.
Over the course of letting the healing mysteries guide, I am feeling calmer and ready to write off the past two days as recovering from the psychic bends. The tumultous depths to which our little ship of fools has been thrust have created bubbles of gas throughout our system and are creating painful havoc within our senses.
Or, maybe I am lost in metaphor again. . . Maybe I should stick to the basics with no metaphorical mixery. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I am worried it might be just another fast moving train. Sigh. . .
Again I wish for the rapid cycling icon while I leave it at the median. I've been better, but I think I really am okay. It's *just* allot to process.
Replies
Arfie,
Try not to let those racing thoughts get to you-I know easier said than done.
Thank you, Sage. Definitely easier said than done, but the support helps. I get by with a little help from my friends.
sorry to read of those horrid rabid racing thoughts...as with my mind, they too run rampant left right up and down, with little to no control. My own therapy tool is to try fact based thinking, staring at a focal point in a room for long enough to shut down...I usually end of seeing two of what I'm staring at...that is when I can tell my self 'this is not fact, in fact this is a false vision my mind is creating...not real. Many Prayers for Your Highest Good and for All you love.
Hm-m-m-m. . . Kinda reminds me of a sidebar in Patch Adams where the eccentric millionaire genius hiding out in the psych ward continually held up fingers in front of faces and asked, "How many fingers do you see?" When people gave him an accurate count, he huffed away in disgust until Patch answered in a more relaxed frame of mind and answered with double the number, kinda like you describe in seeing two of what you are staring at. The loaded nut job started happy dancing, "Finally! ! ! Somebody who can see past the problem to the solution."
Now I gotta hunt down that movie and see it again. It is, hands down, my favorite Robin Williams movie.
Thanks, ML. I'll have to give that exercise a twirl and see how it whirls. Discovering which psych exercises will work and when they will work is even more adventurous than finding the right med cocktail. Why can't life be simple?
A bennie I seem to get out of "Personification," such as this one where I personify my racing thoughts as a sporting event, is being a bit more able to shrug them off as, "Those damned rude neighbors is partying again! Gnarl, gnarl, gnash, gnash. Now where was I?"
I hope that tool works for you arfie, in fact, i think I want to see that Robin Williams movie this weekend too now! Triple hugs
Arfie another good entry you pretty much always put the spotlight on issues...and rapid cycling is a doozy! (((hugs))
If I'd had the common sense you and your Hubs have, arfie, I would have saved myself from a couple of divorces: "The simplicity we have agreed upon is that neither one of us was good company yesterday.... ...Plying therapy tools. To each, her/his own." Way to go.
When you speak of rapid cycling as "The Indy 500 between my ears" I sure can relate just not from a mood disorder. For me it's from 3 different PTSD categories (combat, sexual assault, domestic violence in childhood) of trauma flashbacks whistling simultaneously at any give time through the speedways of my mind at high speed. It's quite a show when I can step back far enough from the track not to get run over. Hang in there, and try to dodge anything oncoming, ok?
Hugs and support my friend.
Racing thoughts are often a plague for me..., “Zoomers” that keep buzzing my brain with sonic booms that rattle my focus.
One day at a time, Arfie. Hoping the race is over soon.