Rant
I am so angry today I am not even sure where to start in this entry. First of all my girlfriend and I have apparently broken up. For what reason, I haven't a clue. I gave her my heart and it seems she is wanting to pull it from my chest and stomp all over it and hand it back to me with the attitude of 'oh well'. I could understand if I had done something or we were having problems but none of that. How can people be so cruel hearted or flippant about matters of the heart. I do NOT have closure on this and I won't until I have had my say and who knows when that will be since she won't take any of my calls. I guess if she doesn't answer pretty soon I will just have to settle for having my say in an email which I do NOT want to do. Then there is the matter of this bipolar BS. I have a friend staying with me temporarily and looks like it would be a while longer. I am living in a house that my dad owns and so my parents say that she cannot stay there. She is also bipolar so we understand each other and get along. It helps me to have her there as well as it would help with the finances that are terrible. It has crushed this girl so badly that I am not able to hardly stand it. It is about to push me over the edge again today. I don't want her to leave. I like her being here because we understand each other and help each other through the hard days. I know all of this is because of my sister pitching a fit that she does not want her kids around my friend but what the hell does she think???? We both have bipolar. Is she not going to want the kids around me either???? Oh but that is different because it is family was the answer I got to that question. It is not one bit different and my sister claims to be such a wonderful caring christian person. To that I say she better check that out again and again because I am certainly not seeing it right now. I am the one trying to help a friend in need and do the right thing or what I feel that God would have me to do. Must be right or satan would not be rearing his ugly head and screaming so loud about it. My friend has got until the end of the month to find somewhere else to go and I told her that I want her here until the very last second of that month is over. I will help her try to find another place as best as I can and do all in my power to try and change things in that period of time. At this point in my day I am ready to go off the deep end to never return. I am to the point where I really don't care if I live or die. I have prayed and prayed and the pain is just too dang great to bear for one individual. I am not even really sure what to do next in my day. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter a great deal.
Replies
Hi. It sounds like you are going through some serious separation issues.Having a friend that understands and lives with the same illness as yourself is a soothing experience. I understand that. So far, i have only found that here. Maybe someday.your friend will be fine...God will provide. he always does.maybe not in the way as you would expect...but good will happen.Being so in love with a person that you feel lost without them...not healthy. you have to find yourself and see your self worth. I have been in love with the same man for 7 years. it took me to mentally explode & get diagnosed to see I was obsessing over him. I was giving him too much power.Now, I am very casual about my need for him. I am not urgent anylonger. thanks to BP meds...I lost my S-drive as well. That the part that sucks! :) relax and look deep into yourself...you are special.Don\'t ever let any person make you feel less. (((HUGS)))
Could you not find somewhere else for you and your friend to share together?it sounds like you both really need each other right now,I\'m sorry to hear about your girlfriend breaking up with you,I\'m here if you ever want to talk,please look after yourself.
Everything matters, Swt, and you\'re right.. you HAVE been doing the right thing. Satan DOES rear his ugly head and tries to stop you. don\'t let him succeed. Remind him of Scripture OUTLOUD.. it\'s going to be a battle but KEEP pressing on.. I apologize this is late..
been goin through some real BATTLES myself -- different situation but SAME ugly Enemy!!
Your sister is still an imperfect human being despite being a \'Christian\' but I FEEL YOUR PAIN and HEAR your HEART !!! I get very frustrated with other \'believers\' myself..
I\'m praying for you.