Quotes
There are so many.....
and I'm melting, more secure than I have felt in ages, despite the mad roller coaster my heart is taking. I can't believe that I've missed out in feeling this way until this point. I don't want to let this moment end .
I am so happy that you got so much time with your kids! That time is priceless and you can never be sorry for spending time with them. I love how, even the smallest thing, I have affected some small aspect in your life.
March 9th
So you have given me a lot to think, and write, about. It being my first time receiving oral sex, first time with candles, and that incredible feeling of security, admiration, lust, and in a sense, escape, I was surprised not to be totally overwhelmed by everything. So, in the aftermath, when reality sinks into our dream, if you sense me withdrawing even a little bit, it is not from you, but enormity of it all, how to keep this under wraps, the possibilities of what if, being fair to our families, what would be best in the end for Lydia, Theo, and John, and my struggle to really believe in a passion like ours. When I looked into your eyes, I wanted the world to stop, I saw how I was becoming a better person because of you (ironically enough), how much I wanted curl up in your arms, sleep, and wake up with you. I remember that longing for those words that you emailed me, but so cautious that I was rendered silent.
Just to hear you echo even part of what I was feeling, thinking in the last weeks, culminating last night, means everything to me Mike. Someday I really hope to share with you what purpose you have already fulfilled for me, by making me come alive. My guilt is born within my anxiety knowing that if this were brought to light, certain parties would be devastated, and I am including the kids in that. While I have not professed to love my husband in over a year, part of me still cares about the fact that he is a good dad, and had worked hard to make his dream possible despite me. From what I know, you have a great relationship with J and must care about how this would affect her. This alone, makes me care about that as well.
But, you are right, it may never be possible, so in the mean time, I want you to know that I have the utmost respect for your wife and kids and I will never attempt to take you away from that. That is a decision you would make on your own merits, not based on me. If the stars are smiling, I would have you, but I don’t know that I could live with the guilt of a decision like that based solely on me.
So perhaps I could still end this email in this manner,
Con amor,
Christine
March 9th
Christine, I read my message about 35 times before I hit the send button last night :) but I'm glad I did. We should be that honest with each other. And you said back exactely what I hoped you would say. We don't have to have this all figured out or have it make sense today. It's OK if it never makes sense. I think what we are feeling is real, and not because of being vulnerable or just because of some mind-blowing sex. It's real and it's unstoppable. And I want you to know that it's OK. I don't feel unsafe because of it. Quite the opposite. Here's what I think should happen. You and I should just continue doing exactely what we have been doing. Being loving parents. Being loving and understanding and patient husbands and wives. And enjoying exploring our relationship, for us. Because, as cheesy as this sounds, you fill a whole in my heart. And I'm pretty sure it's a Christine shaped hole, not just a 'any port in the storm' shaped hole. And I want to keep you there. And even if you move away at some time in the future you are still going to be there, and you are going to be my friend, and maybe at that point our relationship changes, but I bet I'm still going to be happy knowing you and I'm still going to be so proud that we had this time, and while there may be some hurt there we are going to have to deal with, I think it's worth it. And there is the never say never part of me too, but it would not ever, ever be opened unless asked by you. So you keep writing me and we will find some time together soon and maybe you'll be at the bookstore later and we can laugh about how cute our kids are and I'm going to keep enjoying learning about the many ways that you are completely awesome and you can regale me with your latest family night disasters and triumphs and I can try to do my best to wind you up as neeed and you can talk to me about anything at any time. Anything from the most mundane to the most profound. I am so happy to know you!! Go Team!! (*kiss*)Mike
March 9
Mike, when I said that I was falling, I meant it. I feel that to be completely honest I have to reciprocate. I have been asking myself, have I really started to fall in love that easily? Am I just vulnerable after so long a time? How could I possibly even think to allow that when I have sworn to keep this safe and to protect your family as well as mine? Is it the fall out chemicals in the brain from such wonderful encounters? Mike, whatever happens, I am better off knowing you. Con un pedazo de mi corazon,Christine
OK, fine, I'm totally lying, I'm just going to stare into space and think about YOU! And maybe take a shower. So, if you are up now are you tired? I'm surprisingly very much energized. I feel awesome actually! J was like "I thought you would be in more pain this morning". She thought I was out at a bar with some work people. But no, I was with you, my perfect teammate...who better show me some mercy after my last email :). I read it again this am and I was like "huh, well it certainly was honest." Hopefully you don't think it was stupid, but I don't think I have to worry about that. I need to tell you that the time I had with you was in mind-blowing territory for me last night. Like best ever. You were so hot beautiful! You made me feel like the greatest thing on Earth, even though that obviously is you :).
Mike
Just let us still be together. Nothing has to change because we feel love from this. We felt that before last night. Really, it should just make it that much better :). So you just walk straight ahead into my arms. Believe in me and what I say to you and what you feel when you look in my eyes. Allow yourself to be adored and wanted. Allow yourself to indulge in dreamworld when you need to. Let yourself continue to feel safe with me, to share everything with me. It's all OK Christine :). Do you want to know why? Because I love you.
Mike
Christine, Even just seeing you for a few minutes makes me feel so good inside. You really do stop me in my tracks with those eyes of yours. As unbalancing and tongue-tying as that is I hope that feeling never lets up :). And I hope I'm not showing disinterest in what you are talking about, because I want to hear everything you say! Talk to me in another language or tell me about how you brushed your teeth this morning or tell me that you have 10 fingers and 10 toes and I'm going to think you are telling me the secrets to life or reciting poetry to me, OK? I can't wait to see you again!!! Mike
3/10
Mike,I just wanted to write you and tell you how happy I felt after seeing you after just a short time.
3/10
Mike to me
Don't take this as me dismissing what you have/are going through because I would NEVER do that and I would never presume to know what you've experienced. But if I had to describe you to somebody, I would use the word 'strong'. I think it takes an enormous amount of strength to try to change what you don't like about yourself and even if those changes are things that nobody would ever notice, if by all outside appearances things are the same, you should feel great about yourself. All that stuff in your past, it's not your fault. For what it's worth I think you are brave :). You humble me so much by saying that being with me is helping you to become a better person. I don't deserve that kind of compliment from you. You already are a better person.
I can't wait to see you again. Last night flashes through my head nonstop. I'm going to do my best to give you as many amazing times like that as I can. And even more of this, just talking and sharing. I love this. Sweet dreams beautiful!
me to you
3/13 Things that make me smile. Things I liked (besides absolutely everything!)Seeing the thought and time you put into our time together because I know that it means a lot to youSeeing you walk on the parking things like a balance beamBeing totally relaxed with youLaughing togetherListening to your heartThe way you touch my hairTrying unsuccessfully to imagine you with long hairYou coming back to tell me that you loved me tooTalking about your drumming, your kids, anything about you and your lifeFinding those little things that I find in common, no diet drinks, dr. pepper, barbeque chips, being kissed on the ear, walking on the edge of the curb... Trying things on for you ( you are 16 and 1/2 plus 34 or 35 shirt!) and remembering a little fantasy.. Totally being able to laugh at ourselves and not worry about being perfect or having things a certain wayYou listening when I constantly have a story to add (I can be quiet if I need to... lol), even if not necessarily related, or tactful topic :) (I just am so eager to share myself with you!)and of course the many compliments we give each other, the awesome sex, kissing, and being close. Good night mi amor,Christine
and I'm melting, more secure than I have felt in ages, despite the mad roller coaster my heart is taking. I can't believe that I've missed out in feeling this way until this point. I don't want to let this moment end .
I am so happy that you got so much time with your kids! That time is priceless and you can never be sorry for spending time with them. I love how, even the smallest thing, I have affected some small aspect in your life.
March 9th
So you have given me a lot to think, and write, about. It being my first time receiving oral sex, first time with candles, and that incredible feeling of security, admiration, lust, and in a sense, escape, I was surprised not to be totally overwhelmed by everything. So, in the aftermath, when reality sinks into our dream, if you sense me withdrawing even a little bit, it is not from you, but enormity of it all, how to keep this under wraps, the possibilities of what if, being fair to our families, what would be best in the end for Lydia, Theo, and John, and my struggle to really believe in a passion like ours. When I looked into your eyes, I wanted the world to stop, I saw how I was becoming a better person because of you (ironically enough), how much I wanted curl up in your arms, sleep, and wake up with you. I remember that longing for those words that you emailed me, but so cautious that I was rendered silent.
Just to hear you echo even part of what I was feeling, thinking in the last weeks, culminating last night, means everything to me Mike. Someday I really hope to share with you what purpose you have already fulfilled for me, by making me come alive. My guilt is born within my anxiety knowing that if this were brought to light, certain parties would be devastated, and I am including the kids in that. While I have not professed to love my husband in over a year, part of me still cares about the fact that he is a good dad, and had worked hard to make his dream possible despite me. From what I know, you have a great relationship with J and must care about how this would affect her. This alone, makes me care about that as well.
But, you are right, it may never be possible, so in the mean time, I want you to know that I have the utmost respect for your wife and kids and I will never attempt to take you away from that. That is a decision you would make on your own merits, not based on me. If the stars are smiling, I would have you, but I don’t know that I could live with the guilt of a decision like that based solely on me.
So perhaps I could still end this email in this manner,
Con amor,
Christine
March 9th
Christine, I read my message about 35 times before I hit the send button last night :) but I'm glad I did. We should be that honest with each other. And you said back exactely what I hoped you would say. We don't have to have this all figured out or have it make sense today. It's OK if it never makes sense. I think what we are feeling is real, and not because of being vulnerable or just because of some mind-blowing sex. It's real and it's unstoppable. And I want you to know that it's OK. I don't feel unsafe because of it. Quite the opposite. Here's what I think should happen. You and I should just continue doing exactely what we have been doing. Being loving parents. Being loving and understanding and patient husbands and wives. And enjoying exploring our relationship, for us. Because, as cheesy as this sounds, you fill a whole in my heart. And I'm pretty sure it's a Christine shaped hole, not just a 'any port in the storm' shaped hole. And I want to keep you there. And even if you move away at some time in the future you are still going to be there, and you are going to be my friend, and maybe at that point our relationship changes, but I bet I'm still going to be happy knowing you and I'm still going to be so proud that we had this time, and while there may be some hurt there we are going to have to deal with, I think it's worth it. And there is the never say never part of me too, but it would not ever, ever be opened unless asked by you. So you keep writing me and we will find some time together soon and maybe you'll be at the bookstore later and we can laugh about how cute our kids are and I'm going to keep enjoying learning about the many ways that you are completely awesome and you can regale me with your latest family night disasters and triumphs and I can try to do my best to wind you up as neeed and you can talk to me about anything at any time. Anything from the most mundane to the most profound. I am so happy to know you!! Go Team!! (*kiss*)Mike
March 9
Mike, when I said that I was falling, I meant it. I feel that to be completely honest I have to reciprocate. I have been asking myself, have I really started to fall in love that easily? Am I just vulnerable after so long a time? How could I possibly even think to allow that when I have sworn to keep this safe and to protect your family as well as mine? Is it the fall out chemicals in the brain from such wonderful encounters? Mike, whatever happens, I am better off knowing you. Con un pedazo de mi corazon,Christine
OK, fine, I'm totally lying, I'm just going to stare into space and think about YOU! And maybe take a shower. So, if you are up now are you tired? I'm surprisingly very much energized. I feel awesome actually! J was like "I thought you would be in more pain this morning". She thought I was out at a bar with some work people. But no, I was with you, my perfect teammate...who better show me some mercy after my last email :). I read it again this am and I was like "huh, well it certainly was honest." Hopefully you don't think it was stupid, but I don't think I have to worry about that. I need to tell you that the time I had with you was in mind-blowing territory for me last night. Like best ever. You were so hot beautiful! You made me feel like the greatest thing on Earth, even though that obviously is you :).
Mike
Just let us still be together. Nothing has to change because we feel love from this. We felt that before last night. Really, it should just make it that much better :). So you just walk straight ahead into my arms. Believe in me and what I say to you and what you feel when you look in my eyes. Allow yourself to be adored and wanted. Allow yourself to indulge in dreamworld when you need to. Let yourself continue to feel safe with me, to share everything with me. It's all OK Christine :). Do you want to know why? Because I love you.
Mike
Christine, Even just seeing you for a few minutes makes me feel so good inside. You really do stop me in my tracks with those eyes of yours. As unbalancing and tongue-tying as that is I hope that feeling never lets up :). And I hope I'm not showing disinterest in what you are talking about, because I want to hear everything you say! Talk to me in another language or tell me about how you brushed your teeth this morning or tell me that you have 10 fingers and 10 toes and I'm going to think you are telling me the secrets to life or reciting poetry to me, OK? I can't wait to see you again!!! Mike
3/10
Mike,I just wanted to write you and tell you how happy I felt after seeing you after just a short time.
3/10
Mike to me
Don't take this as me dismissing what you have/are going through because I would NEVER do that and I would never presume to know what you've experienced. But if I had to describe you to somebody, I would use the word 'strong'. I think it takes an enormous amount of strength to try to change what you don't like about yourself and even if those changes are things that nobody would ever notice, if by all outside appearances things are the same, you should feel great about yourself. All that stuff in your past, it's not your fault. For what it's worth I think you are brave :). You humble me so much by saying that being with me is helping you to become a better person. I don't deserve that kind of compliment from you. You already are a better person.
I can't wait to see you again. Last night flashes through my head nonstop. I'm going to do my best to give you as many amazing times like that as I can. And even more of this, just talking and sharing. I love this. Sweet dreams beautiful!
me to you
3/13 Things that make me smile. Things I liked (besides absolutely everything!)Seeing the thought and time you put into our time together because I know that it means a lot to youSeeing you walk on the parking things like a balance beamBeing totally relaxed with youLaughing togetherListening to your heartThe way you touch my hairTrying unsuccessfully to imagine you with long hairYou coming back to tell me that you loved me tooTalking about your drumming, your kids, anything about you and your lifeFinding those little things that I find in common, no diet drinks, dr. pepper, barbeque chips, being kissed on the ear, walking on the edge of the curb... Trying things on for you ( you are 16 and 1/2 plus 34 or 35 shirt!) and remembering a little fantasy.. Totally being able to laugh at ourselves and not worry about being perfect or having things a certain wayYou listening when I constantly have a story to add (I can be quiet if I need to... lol), even if not necessarily related, or tactful topic :) (I just am so eager to share myself with you!)and of course the many compliments we give each other, the awesome sex, kissing, and being close. Good night mi amor,Christine
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