Quitting by degrees
I get too tense if I think I can't have a drink. That's why I got so messed up on wine last Saturday, why I pounded wine like a madwoman. Why I lost last Sunday in self-induced sickness.
This week went well up to Thursday, which was a bad day from the moment my feet hit the floor. I was just in a BAD MOOD, which is very rare for me. Every little stressor during the day was another log on the fire of my BAD MOOD. By the time I got home, I was tense and craving a stiff drink. I called my husband to tell him my intention to drink, and he took that as permission to stop after work for a drink too (we are very bad influences on each other).
I tried pounding a diet cream soda (with a tsp of L-glutamine powder mixed in). Still craved the cocktail. So I threw on some shorts and took a brisk 2.5 mile walk, hitting the biggest hills I could find, trying to work off the tension, tire myself out, delay, delay, delay.
I got home, sweaty and less tense, but I still gave myself permission to have a drink. Mixed up a 3 to 1 dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives, on the rocks. Savored it out on the back deck. And then I was done.
And that's the successful part of this story - I only had one. One and done.
Last night we went to dinner with friends who drink a lot (I can't think of any friends that don't). I had one glass of red wine over the two hours we were there. I drank water and for my after dinner drink - a Turkish coffee. When I got home - lemonade the rest of the night! It wasn't hard. I feel great today, and so am thinking, instead of trying to go cold turkey, just do the one and done, with days off completely in between, and no more than 4 or 5 in a week to start, gradually getting it to an occasional treat, like ice cream. I don't know, maybe it's delusional. But for today, if I drink, it's only going to be ONE.
I may choose not to have any in the long run, but if I try cold turkey, I'm going to obsess, breakdown, overindulge, pay for it.
This week went well up to Thursday, which was a bad day from the moment my feet hit the floor. I was just in a BAD MOOD, which is very rare for me. Every little stressor during the day was another log on the fire of my BAD MOOD. By the time I got home, I was tense and craving a stiff drink. I called my husband to tell him my intention to drink, and he took that as permission to stop after work for a drink too (we are very bad influences on each other).
I tried pounding a diet cream soda (with a tsp of L-glutamine powder mixed in). Still craved the cocktail. So I threw on some shorts and took a brisk 2.5 mile walk, hitting the biggest hills I could find, trying to work off the tension, tire myself out, delay, delay, delay.
I got home, sweaty and less tense, but I still gave myself permission to have a drink. Mixed up a 3 to 1 dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives, on the rocks. Savored it out on the back deck. And then I was done.
And that's the successful part of this story - I only had one. One and done.
Last night we went to dinner with friends who drink a lot (I can't think of any friends that don't). I had one glass of red wine over the two hours we were there. I drank water and for my after dinner drink - a Turkish coffee. When I got home - lemonade the rest of the night! It wasn't hard. I feel great today, and so am thinking, instead of trying to go cold turkey, just do the one and done, with days off completely in between, and no more than 4 or 5 in a week to start, gradually getting it to an occasional treat, like ice cream. I don't know, maybe it's delusional. But for today, if I drink, it's only going to be ONE.
I may choose not to have any in the long run, but if I try cold turkey, I'm going to obsess, breakdown, overindulge, pay for it.
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