Quit my job
Hey Jeffery, this is the first time I've write u since you've been gone and it may be the hardest thing I've done yet. I made a big dicission today, I quit my job. Between the emotional roller coaster I'm on I'm still haveing lots of problems with my pinched nerve and the job it not helping either one. I just hope and pray you are not disappointed with me. It was not an easy choice to make but I felt it was the fair thing to do for myself and my employer not to mention employees that were having to cover for me when at any minute I may breakdown and have to call out because I just can't function that day. I know they have been good and understanding through all this but like I told my Rita she and I both know I am not dependable right now. I swear to you I have been trying to be strong but with all the unanswered questions and other business up in the air I'm just not doing so good. I guess maybe it's because we have made decisions together since I was 17 almost 25 years it's just had to do this alone. I know you are with GOD now and that does give me comfort but I'm sorry I'm selfish, I love and miss you so much I'm just at a total lost. I have been praying for wisdom and guidance but if you could just give me a sign that I'm not messing up to bad that would help me, I need to see you so bad if only I'm a dream. I'm sorry I'm going to try to hold it together and the boys are ok but having a hard time too I also have been praying to GOD for help with that and I know he will answer my prayers in his time.
Until we talk again my love
Rhonda
Until we talk again my love
Rhonda
Replies
Just be super careful witht he quitting the job that depression really doesn\'t set in full force. Please don\'t feel I am questioning why you quit, just be careful with the depression. I am not the type to question things. I have had a lot of losses too. Just know that smoking pot, well, it does ease the nerves somewhat, but it does sound like you and your sons are going through some really hard times. I can feel the pain in your journal. Maybe try to find a counselor or somebody who will really work with you and help you. In this day and age, it is hard to find a good counselor but I do urge you to reach out. You have a lot of pain inside and you do need somebody who shall be there to help you. You are not selfish for loving your husband and missing him. Far from it, it shows your undrying love for him. It is natural to miss the person you loved so much. Rhonda, you are hurting and truly need somebody to help you through this time. Hugs, my friend
There are grief support groups, made up of all differing ages and relations. Most are free and could possibly be held in a church (though they aren\'t always religion based-churches tend to lend out their space graciously to charities). You might want to check into a group, talking about your loss and how you are having difficulties managing might bring you some really good suggestions and friends in your shoes as well. Hope you can give that a try to help you out. Good luck, Vicki