pychotic break
I dont know whats happening. Im having a pychotic break. In my mind this whole day has been chatter. The voices chatter at me and i chatter back at them. Usually they try to use my love for god to push me to try to be perfect so i double my efforts and my blood pressure and then the stress trigures the symptoms off again and im even in worse shape. My mind is spinnin right now. I dont know if im wearing masks, being honest or dishonest with myself or god or anybody else. I feel shame and i dont even have a reason i can think of to be ashamed. I don't know which way to go. This past year i have been in so much mental agony i tried to kill myself a few times however half heartedly. It really made me see a part of life ive never seen before. Its that sometimes it doesnt seem like god even exist. I felt completely cut off from his mercie. Life showed me no mercy. I dont know what the days ahead will bring. I don't know how many more pychotic breaks i will have, and i dont know if ill get through them. I guess i just have to try to stay alive in my heart and my mind.
Replies
I have had plenty of these breaks myself and my heart goes out to you as you struggle. I am praying for you.
I am so sorry you are going threw this right now, I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, I dont want you hurting yourself, And I dont like to see you miserable, You have nothing to feel guilty about, You dont have to be perfect, God never expected you to feel perfect, I think you think that about yourself that you must be that way, No one will be perfect all the way, No matter how much we try, God loves you very much and I have been where you are at when you question if he even exists, But deep down in your heart you know that he does, You are just going threw a hard time right now, I am going to send you a message, Try to get as much rest as you can and avoid stress and people that are bothering you, Sleep helps some times