Putting It Behind Me, And Moving Forward....
Well, I have now lived in my new place for one week, and let me tell you folks, I'm really enjoying it! My mind has been liberated in a manner of speaking. It has been very nice to go about my day here at home, and not being haunted by all the visual reminders and memories in the old place. But I will be honest, it has felt very odd and strange to not have shared the move experience with someone. Normally I would have taken some else into consideration when making plans and putting things the way we would both have wanted it in the new place. Felt very odd to have planned this move on my own, and setup my new home on my own, just odd.
But I'm getting used to not having someone else around, didn't think a month's ago I would have been able to say that, but yeah, Aaron is starting to get used to thing's the way they are. Plus the new environment has given my mind the freedom to think, ponder, wonder and see things in their true light. Yes, being back on my own can be very lonely at times, but I'm realizing some things, I'm realizing just how much stress and troubles my ex-fiance brought into our relationship. It has been very liberating to not have to stress over my ex-fiance's parents always requesting money. It's been very liberating to not have to deal with someone who thinks everything is a conspiracy. It's been liberating to not have to deal with a 2nd grade drop out mentality. It's nice to have all my friends back in my life, for she drove away many by here controlling and manipulative ways. It's been nice to get reconnected with various family members, which some were drove off by my ex-fiance's childish and manipulative ways. It's been nice to have an occasional beer from time to time, without the worry of being yelled at and judged and be told I'm turning out like her father. It's been nice to go about my day at home without finding anymore "love bombing" elementary school styled shaky handed love notes. Plus a real big nice thing, this move has helped both my cats to move on, and the belonging to my ex-fiance is no longer sitting by the front door crying all night, nor is she sitting in windows for hours at a time, waiting for someone to return.
Granted, there are aspects of my ex-fiance that I miss, but as the days progress, I'm missing her less and less. Plus what is making letting her go a bit more easy, I found out she's got another person that she's lining up to be her next "love interest", rumor has it she was thinking about possibly hooking up with this person towards the end of our relationship. I know who she's gunning for, I know him, he's a member of my former online gaming group! I'd love to warn him off about her, but it's not my place, figured I'd let him get some advanced education in dealing with sosciopaths and their narcissistic parents. May God have mercy on his soul!
But life goes on, I'm still alive and kicking without her, I'm still able to make choices and decisions without her, I'm able tto maintain a home without her, I'm able to tend to and take care of my two cats without her ect ect ect! I'm learning that even though I don't really like it, I can survive on my own. I know I've moved forward, while she reverted, back to living life in a troubled home, a narcissist as a father, and a battered wife syndrome sufferer as a mother, living alone in a upstairs bedroom, in her computer all day and night talking with her only friends online and gaming all night, what a life!
Me, I'm going to real world support groups 3 times a week, hosting real world friends at my home, cultivating good relations with my family, being loved by my two real world cats, the ability to go to any real world destination here in town at my discretion, my move into a new real world home, with very little stress and worries now, sucks to be her!
But I'm getting used to not having someone else around, didn't think a month's ago I would have been able to say that, but yeah, Aaron is starting to get used to thing's the way they are. Plus the new environment has given my mind the freedom to think, ponder, wonder and see things in their true light. Yes, being back on my own can be very lonely at times, but I'm realizing some things, I'm realizing just how much stress and troubles my ex-fiance brought into our relationship. It has been very liberating to not have to stress over my ex-fiance's parents always requesting money. It's been very liberating to not have to deal with someone who thinks everything is a conspiracy. It's been liberating to not have to deal with a 2nd grade drop out mentality. It's nice to have all my friends back in my life, for she drove away many by here controlling and manipulative ways. It's been nice to get reconnected with various family members, which some were drove off by my ex-fiance's childish and manipulative ways. It's been nice to have an occasional beer from time to time, without the worry of being yelled at and judged and be told I'm turning out like her father. It's been nice to go about my day at home without finding anymore "love bombing" elementary school styled shaky handed love notes. Plus a real big nice thing, this move has helped both my cats to move on, and the belonging to my ex-fiance is no longer sitting by the front door crying all night, nor is she sitting in windows for hours at a time, waiting for someone to return.
Granted, there are aspects of my ex-fiance that I miss, but as the days progress, I'm missing her less and less. Plus what is making letting her go a bit more easy, I found out she's got another person that she's lining up to be her next "love interest", rumor has it she was thinking about possibly hooking up with this person towards the end of our relationship. I know who she's gunning for, I know him, he's a member of my former online gaming group! I'd love to warn him off about her, but it's not my place, figured I'd let him get some advanced education in dealing with sosciopaths and their narcissistic parents. May God have mercy on his soul!
But life goes on, I'm still alive and kicking without her, I'm still able to make choices and decisions without her, I'm able tto maintain a home without her, I'm able to tend to and take care of my two cats without her ect ect ect! I'm learning that even though I don't really like it, I can survive on my own. I know I've moved forward, while she reverted, back to living life in a troubled home, a narcissist as a father, and a battered wife syndrome sufferer as a mother, living alone in a upstairs bedroom, in her computer all day and night talking with her only friends online and gaming all night, what a life!
Me, I'm going to real world support groups 3 times a week, hosting real world friends at my home, cultivating good relations with my family, being loved by my two real world cats, the ability to go to any real world destination here in town at my discretion, my move into a new real world home, with very little stress and worries now, sucks to be her!
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