Puttin the Horse out to pasture...
First of all...I reckon ya's want to refer to me as a Mule..My grandma would call me a Jackass...few other folks I knew would vouch for that one too..............Lately lots of things are good cause for me to looky at my life...and wonder if I done reached a place that I didn't wanna go...I didn't wanna be put out to pasture too soon...It isn't that that's such a bad thing, just I have so many,...desires I'd like to fulfill ..............Life hasn't been easy for me...no silver spoon...just a constant struggle against myself, all these years...to try and be the best I can be...I'm not a back stabber, I'm not greedy, and I don't believe...you can fix the problems of the world by dumpin money into banks...wall street or auto makers...........I think some folks in washington are like two headed coins...when someone flipps em they tend to land heads up...aint really smart... but it saves face...When folks get to facing todays problems... everybody help, banks have proven they need to be regulated..,Power crupts...greed bleeds us dry....mistrust seperates us..........but that is about the least of my problems...I'm a disabled 56 year old male...I was born on the wrong end of the stick...takin a quick looky sure makes me wonder....When they yanked me into this world...I'm a C-section baby, doctors tried to induce labor so...I'd be born on my grandmother birthday...Didn't happen, I was like three weeks too early..so I got stuck in an incubator for a while ...soon as I was born they gave me a blood transfusion...RH-negative thingy..1950 who knew........well Mom took off when I was three months old... Pooof...! Gonethen six years later she come back and totally screws up the rest...takes me from the only lovin family I ever knew and ...the rest is History...Here I is...a seriously messed up dude... Wondering is it time to put the old horse out to pasture...Yesterday I walked four blocks to a handy-mans paridise..........the walk home was three times harder than I was hopin it would be...this mornin when my feet hit the floor..they hurt...something always hurts these days...Sad part of my life is ...Being on SSI, I have to live like a begger....can't even afford to pay attention...finding hand me downs for my pontiac butt is...Difficult..........Companies exploit the sick, disabled, and the government that tries to help...health care and products cost too much... no body is really winning... Not this sick tired old jackass...........How do you tell when its time to just say ...Enuff...that's it... I'm tired...I'm finished...Ya know when folks put them old horse out to pasture...least they get dignity...respect...care...Loved.........i see folks that be put out to pasture...herded into housing thingys... or nursing homes...Lonely forgotten...just existing one day to the next...except for the attention they give one another...Always longing for the family that seems to have forgotten them...........I don't feel as useful as I once did...kids only come around when they need something...or life seperates us in distance....This old jackass..... has pulled one too many loads...beat one to many times....neglected way too much..........My mom...was a fine horse...my dad was a Mule...Yepp wonder what that makes my kids lol...and they said jackasse's can't have offsprings...Nature finds a way..........So how do you know when it's time...when the heart is willing...yet the body just aint got what it takes any more.........Nope I aint ready for pasture...then hey I never had a lot to say about it no how...Russ...
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