Purge......
Sooooo....I haven't written or really replied in a while...but that doesn't mean that I have not been keeping up with you guys from time to time. I am constantly praying for all of you and glad that you all are doing well.
For the last few months...it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and ideals...first off....we decided to give it another go and try FET again. Soo...this has been one thing after another. First...we couldn't get in to see the doc...then...once we did...the lining was no good for a few days. Now...for those of you who don't know...we have to travel to the Navy base in San Diego which is 3 hours away from us each time we have to see them. It's too close to just spend the week there with nothing to do..and yet the constant back and forth is tiring.
So...finally we had the go to implant only to find out that our last embryo is of "fair to poor quality". Punch 1! I tell you...time stopped!!! I just stared at the picture not knowing what to do. The doctors left the room and we just cried and cried...yes WE. I know he was just as devastated as I was. He pulled it together and said that we had to remain positive and keep moving forward. So...after I ruined my makeup (lol)...the docs came back in and I asked what I percentage chance was...the doc said 10% at best...WTF!! Punch number 2!
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
We decided to give this little guy/girl their chance to show the world what they are capable of. So now...I'm am stuck with two dymanics....on one hand...I am trying to stay hopeful that this one will defy the docs andticipation and stick...but on the other hand...I am worried that they may be right. I'm not sure if anyone has had any luck with a "fair to poor" embryo but man...would love a little encouragement right now.
Praying hard and trying so hard not to just break...which by the way...is the one thing I want to do right now. I want to do nothing but shut down and just leave and go somewhere that no one knows me and disappear for a while!!
Maybe not a bad idea.....
For the last few months...it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and ideals...first off....we decided to give it another go and try FET again. Soo...this has been one thing after another. First...we couldn't get in to see the doc...then...once we did...the lining was no good for a few days. Now...for those of you who don't know...we have to travel to the Navy base in San Diego which is 3 hours away from us each time we have to see them. It's too close to just spend the week there with nothing to do..and yet the constant back and forth is tiring.
So...finally we had the go to implant only to find out that our last embryo is of "fair to poor quality". Punch 1! I tell you...time stopped!!! I just stared at the picture not knowing what to do. The doctors left the room and we just cried and cried...yes WE. I know he was just as devastated as I was. He pulled it together and said that we had to remain positive and keep moving forward. So...after I ruined my makeup (lol)...the docs came back in and I asked what I percentage chance was...the doc said 10% at best...WTF!! Punch number 2!
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
We decided to give this little guy/girl their chance to show the world what they are capable of. So now...I'm am stuck with two dymanics....on one hand...I am trying to stay hopeful that this one will defy the docs andticipation and stick...but on the other hand...I am worried that they may be right. I'm not sure if anyone has had any luck with a "fair to poor" embryo but man...would love a little encouragement right now.
Praying hard and trying so hard not to just break...which by the way...is the one thing I want to do right now. I want to do nothing but shut down and just leave and go somewhere that no one knows me and disappear for a while!!
Maybe not a bad idea.....
Replies
Hey there lady.. this journey is so hard and to hear stats like that makes your heart just crumble. Believe in your little embryo ..who knows maybe it just wanted to be with its mommy and will blossom and show those docs that they know alot but God is in control. Pray for calm and worryless days and nights..love your self as your embryo fights. Heres to an amazing tww
That\'s one hell of a punch. I\'m so sorry. There\'s no reason to give up completely but it\'s hard to keep faith when you\'re given odds like that. I\'ve got my fingers and toes crossed extra right that you\'ve got a little overachiever who will prove all the stats wrong! After all, that 10% wouldn\'t exist if it weren\'t for some serious miracle babies!
I am so sorry you are dealing with all this. I am shocked that they didnt tell the quality of the embryo until that day. But maybe they didnt know and that is why. Either way not an ideal situation. I pray that your little embryo will defy the odds and come out strong. Fingers crossed that this all works out. You are strong and you can handle this. Please keep us in the loop. God Bless!
I\'m so sorry, you\'ve already been through so very much. I really hope your luck changes and you get a big BFP surprise. Stay hopeful, my re always said the ones that make it to freeze are good.
I am so sorry. Doctors can be wrong. Hope is a big thing. Be cautiously optimistic. You are very strong and sometimes it okay not to be. It\'s hard. And hope for the best and am pulling for you. XOXO
I\'m sorry that they gave you some bad punches. It\'s a great sign that the embie made it to freeze and made it past thaw. It\'s in the best environment now and I\'m hoping that everything progresses with the little one. Keep us posed, I\'ll be thinking of you!
Don\'t despair hon, miracles really do happen every day and 10% isn\'t 0%, so have faith that your little embryo can beat the odds!! Sorry you have to drive 3 hours to get to your clinic .. I know that pain .. I have to drive 2 hours to San Francisco to get to my RE and now OB\'s office!! I will keep you and your precious embryo on my prayers! XO
Thanks ladies!! I have really been trying to stay positive and try to focus on the fact that they didn\'t tell me it was a total loss....I am going to try to remain \"cautiously optimistic\" like lilcmhos said!! Thanks for the prayers and I am trying to be prayerful as well.