Pulling up my Boot straps.
Dear Journal,
Don't even know if boots have straps but in any case here goes;
I have been sitting here going back n forth with myself as to what I am ,and what i need to do to change it.
1. I am tired of being the sweet,shy, innocent girl being taken advantage of at every turn.
2. I am a wife....(this will be changing quickly)
3. I am a daughter (that wont change).
4. I am a sister and a godmother/aunt (this to will not change)
5. I am a friend to some...and very possible an enemy to others(this i cannot change)
6. I am a hard worker to where i can get compulsive about it.
7. I am a good listener/supporter (I hope).
So in being all these things,why do i get the short stick in everything,my marriage,my job,my overview on things in general.....
Yes ok I am listened to ,but no one I feel actually HEARS me.
With that being said I am moving forward with MY life,I am looking for an apartment ,i have called the lawyer again(really wish she would call back).
whats that saying Shoot first ask Questions later?
Well in this case, I am moving first on with my life,and will let the questions and comments come later....I have tried to explain to my family and friends outside of DS what is going on with me,I get the 10 minute pity thing,and the hr long are you sure thing......This is what I mean by they listen but they dont hear me....I love my family and friends....But they just dont get it.
So thats it......Its Onward and Upward for me......I dont want to hurt anyone in the process......but i feel that is exactly what will happen,,,,,I also know this is my life not theirs,and sooner or later they will also come to that realization.
Don't even know if boots have straps but in any case here goes;
I have been sitting here going back n forth with myself as to what I am ,and what i need to do to change it.
1. I am tired of being the sweet,shy, innocent girl being taken advantage of at every turn.
2. I am a wife....(this will be changing quickly)
3. I am a daughter (that wont change).
4. I am a sister and a godmother/aunt (this to will not change)
5. I am a friend to some...and very possible an enemy to others(this i cannot change)
6. I am a hard worker to where i can get compulsive about it.
7. I am a good listener/supporter (I hope).
So in being all these things,why do i get the short stick in everything,my marriage,my job,my overview on things in general.....
Yes ok I am listened to ,but no one I feel actually HEARS me.
With that being said I am moving forward with MY life,I am looking for an apartment ,i have called the lawyer again(really wish she would call back).
whats that saying Shoot first ask Questions later?
Well in this case, I am moving first on with my life,and will let the questions and comments come later....I have tried to explain to my family and friends outside of DS what is going on with me,I get the 10 minute pity thing,and the hr long are you sure thing......This is what I mean by they listen but they dont hear me....I love my family and friends....But they just dont get it.
So thats it......Its Onward and Upward for me......I dont want to hurt anyone in the process......but i feel that is exactly what will happen,,,,,I also know this is my life not theirs,and sooner or later they will also come to that realization.
Replies
(Hugs) - Eventually, everyone will understand and accept. Time heals. You do what\'s right for you.
Thanks KR-- I am trying -emotions are running rampant this week.
Yeah, I believe the bottom line is, \"they\" don\'t want to get too involved in YOUR problems.
This is where writing comes in. It\'s soothing, sometimes you can sort out your feelings and discover new resources. You\'re so right \"no one actually hears you\" so change that. That resource is not working. Dr. Phil says, \"You can\'t be doing the same thing over & over and expect a different result.\"
Try not to pile your emotions to much on \"they\" or they will be gone.
Read some self-help books or as soon as you can go to a counselor, even a couple visits can be soothing. It doesn\'t matter that you can\'t afford 10, 20, or 50 visits, even 1-2 can be helpful. I went to a couple of visits to see a psychologist to help me get over this long time Friend that turned into a romantic relationship. It was the HARDEST relationship to get over, but I did, with the help of counseling and you can too.
Now, you must think of YOURSELF often. this is about you, treat yourself, manicure your inner and outerself. find out who you are and what you want and try to ADD enjoyment to your life at least 1 day a week. It breaks up the daily stresses that you are going thru right now.
Make yourself socialize at least a couple times a month to ease the transition.
I wish the best for you.
Thanks energy our Ins Co just changed in June so I am looking for a new therapist also....Time and money...Money and Time,a never ending cycle.....guess I have to be selfish and start thinking of me for once...
Pull up those boot straps and hang in there! It\'s not selfish to take care of yourself and put energy into doing things that will help you move forward with your life. You have to take care of you before you can think about taking care of other people. Can\'t talk to your friends or family? I totally understand that, but you have a great community here who will listen.
People now don\'t want to hear problems. You are so lucky to have found DS. I believe in the saying \"if somethings not working; try something else\".
Yes, it doesn\'t hurt to think about yourself. I can tell you were the caretaker of your family. The one who saw that things got done, people fed and life was pretty easy for others.
It\'s your time now and yes pull up those boot straps and find out what kind of life YOU want for yourself.
you\'d like to think that people agree and/or will come to agree with your choices....nice and not too very real, except that we\'d like to have \"friends\" and \"family\", etc., hear us...I PRAY TO GOD THAT YOURS DO THAT FOR YOU! It hasn\'t been my experience...but I sure wish you the very BEST~
Thanks Franciann,am getting oh so tired of explaining my self to family and friends outside of DS,thats why i wrote the journal so i can refer to it every now and again.....wishing you the best as well.