pulling at me

I don't have time to write, I should be going to work, but I have this urge pulling at me. I am not sure what happened...nothing happened. I woke up, got ready for work and then cleaned a little. All the sudden there was the urge to cut. Not just a little urge. All consuming. My body is getting chills. I feel almost sick to my stomach. I kep having thoughts/visions/ pictures whatever you want to call them of cutting in my head. I am not stressed. Im not mad. Im not overly sad....though Im not happy either. idk how to explain it. I havent had the urge to cut in over a week and all the sudden today its pulling at me. Pulling so hard. I just want to make this feeling stop. My whole body is tense and feels weird. Its like I have to...I hate this. I thought about just drinking a beer real quick and that might help calm me down but I have to go to work...I should have already left the house. I could just grab a bottle of otc pills and take some. that will help calm me down and give me the feeling of numness...I am not sure if writing has heldped or if any of this even makes any sense. I just sat down and started typing. not really thinking about it. Luckily I have no way to cut at work. No way to drink. So if I can just get myself outa the house I'll be ok. But the feeling will stil be there. But at least i wont give in...