Pull the trigger...
Already wrote one, but it got choked up on here...
Anyway, I do my trigger shot in half an hour, and then we're go bright and early Monday morning for the egg retrieval. So far everything's been great. So, the question I can't shake is...When does the other shoe drop? When do I find out all my eggs are toxic sludge or all the embryos fizzled away or my lining's coated with Pam and nothing will stick? I know it's important to stay positive but I wouldn't be here if stuff always worked out the way it should. Stuff has never worked the way it should. Why should it start now?
One of the things that also freaks me out is the fact that last year, a friend from high school went to the dentist to have her wisdom teeth extracted and never woke up from the anesthesia. I know it's a 15 minute procedure, and I'll barely be out, but I still can't help but freak out when I think about my friend. I keep asking her, in my mind, to stand next to me...that if anyone would understand what I need, she would. I'm scared about the retrieval. I'm scared about the fertilization. I'm scared about implantation. I'll be scared every moment of every day of nine months, if I'm given them. When does the scared stop?
Anyway, I do my trigger shot in half an hour, and then we're go bright and early Monday morning for the egg retrieval. So far everything's been great. So, the question I can't shake is...When does the other shoe drop? When do I find out all my eggs are toxic sludge or all the embryos fizzled away or my lining's coated with Pam and nothing will stick? I know it's important to stay positive but I wouldn't be here if stuff always worked out the way it should. Stuff has never worked the way it should. Why should it start now?
One of the things that also freaks me out is the fact that last year, a friend from high school went to the dentist to have her wisdom teeth extracted and never woke up from the anesthesia. I know it's a 15 minute procedure, and I'll barely be out, but I still can't help but freak out when I think about my friend. I keep asking her, in my mind, to stand next to me...that if anyone would understand what I need, she would. I'm scared about the retrieval. I'm scared about the fertilization. I'm scared about implantation. I'll be scared every moment of every day of nine months, if I'm given them. When does the scared stop?
Replies
The scared is always with me too. After all of this IF stuff you would think we\'d have been through it all, but I\'m always scared and worried too.....Best of luck tomorrow, you\'ll do great!!! I\'m afraid AF is coming, and DH keeps telling me to keep positive, but how can I? I\'ve never had a positive pregnancy test....UGH, so hard.
Its so normal to be scared, but think of all the POSSIBILITIES that are POSITIVE! Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow and hoping for some great updates! xoxo
Don\'t be scared I know there are those thoughts in the back of your head..but it\'s so exciting so just think of that, good luck I hope you lay a lot of eggies!!
Oh good luck! I\'m assuming you\'re probably done now, and I certainly hope they got lots of eggs from you! They are going to do great. I know how you feel being scared all the time. Whenever I get a moment of feeling positive, I try to tell myself that there is always a 50/50 chance. Either it goes right or it doesn\'t. After it\'s been going wrong for so many times, a right needs to pop up in there somehwere. You\'re overdue for a right. Have my fingers crossed for you!
good luck on ER and hope things goe well... I can totally empathize about the other \"shoe dropping\" I think it just becomes so common for us we just expect it after a while but here is hoping this cycle brings you the BFP and I am sure your eggs are just how they need to be... as for the anethesia I know that must have been hard to hear about your friend and I am so sorry for your loss but I am sure everything will be fine... I have had anesthesia several times and here I am, I am sure everything will go just as smooth as a baby\'s bottom :) good luck and will be throwing baby dust your way
Ok, so I was too self absorbed this weekend to see this until now. Which means your ER is over and you are probably already home relaxing. I hope all went well. I can not wait to hear how many eggs they were able to get and how they all fertilize tonight! I was completely scared about my ER too, but it turned out to be pretty darn easy compaired to what was in my head. I hope yours goes the same way.
Good luck hun!