Public Persona

  Once Ron died I was faced with the financial ramifications of my life.  I was too young to collect his SS and our children were too old.  We had no life insurance policy in place and Ron was the sole bread winner.  I had a little part time job and had been selling some of my pattern designs there for years.  Ron always said, why don't you do this for yourself?  It took his death for me to finally listen.  
    So I submitted a new design to a magazine that specialized in my style.   I hired a girl to build a website, looked into doing trade shows and began writing a blog.  The beauty of this was that I did not have to go out in public or try and interview with prospective employers, none of which I was ready to do.  I went back to my part time job after the funeral and asked for extra days, I got one day added to my two day schedule!  Oh, did I mention that the health insurance was cancelled the week Ron died?  
   I don't know how but somehow in the midst of grieving I made the finances work.  After 6 months I heard back from that magazine and yes they were pleased to tell me that my design would be included in their one year anniversary edition.  Not only included but I made the cover!  That was nearly three years ago.  I now travel monthly for shows, teaching and lectures.  I've been published in nearly a dozen editions.  Customers ask for my autograph and want to take pictures with me.  I smile, give hugs, talk shop and all the while I'm breaking on the inside.  I walk out of those venues and feel the public persona leave with each footstep.  Ron would be so proud of me but then again I would never be doing any of this if he was still alive.  I would prefer the later.  I'm doing what you suggested but I miss you babe, Lori