PT A Bust

I am home, on bed or other kind of rest until tomorrow when I go to PT therapist to see if I'm any better. I had the heat as usual but when the massage therapist lightly touched my spine in prep for my massage, it set off a chain reaction in my spine of severe nerve pain. It was like a bomb going off. I sit here, having nerve pain deep in my left thigh and calf and ankle are aching; without corresponding injury or damage. I have pain radiating across my lumbar and above my fusion, where he touched me, ever so softly, is feeling bruised and beaten. When I touch it...I know - then don't touch it- it radiates pain down my spine. I am not a wimpy little baby girl. I grew up on a dairy farm, used to hard physical labor and a former marathon runner. I feel so broken right now...physically and emotionally. If this is my "new normal" well it really stinks. Each time I have had to adjust to a new level of pain, it takes a toll on me. I do bounce back, grateful for what the simple pleasures of life can bring, and full of hope for an unknown future. Right now, to be put on bed rest is like a slap in the face for me. I just burst into tears as my husband and our dog left for our daily walk. The dog gets so sad when "mommy" can't go too. He was poking my left leg, which set off shards of agony and I had to pet his head and gently push him away. It's like he could sense the pain and wanted to help. Oh that he could. My gentle comforting pal. Prayers as always appreciated. Hope my surgeon has some helpful advice for me tomorrow. Will post after the appointment.