Psychotic Processing
I was already on the brink of crisis here before the metaphorical caddies arrived with litigious vagueries thrown through their tinted glass windows. 5 months of isolation is enough to challenge the most stable of emotional profiles. I was holding on through exercises of faith in ancient therapy and looking for therapy resources in local community. Sorta. My parental units suffered too many rounds of caddie decrees and the Surname Family has yet to separate themselves from the landlord brigade far enough to allow me much faith that I would be here long enough to use them. Not even Hubby Surname. Especially Hubby Surname? I can't count how many of my projects he has derailed in our 37 years together. Being supportive of my work is not my favorite thing about him. The years I out-earned him were nothing shy of traumatic.
Detaching from the metaphorical caddies now. . . Gots no control over what happens behind their tinted windows. Owners will decree whatever it is they decree. Sir, yes sir. Ma'am, yes ma'am. In this moment I am saluting with my hitchiker finger. May your asset portfolios remain impressive. Lots of little animals here for you to crush with your fancy tires. Enjoy.
It still niggles that I should be seeking professional help right now. Just a niggle. The professionals have yet to find quick fixes for this condition and my last pro team was through the VA. Talk about process. . . Even fewer quick bureaucratic fixes available.
sorting. . .
Replies
With you while you sort. Ive noticed a difference in you... i think seeking proffessional help would be a good idea atm. Hugs.
I still feel Big Brother here with me. Last night's cleansing tears were sponsored by a review of where on this property our child selves might have hidden to watch the caddy proceedings.
Perhaps one day we will get to finish one of our projects. . . Caddies permitting. . .
Thank you, Sarah.
Glad you are thinking along the lines of self-care. Sometimes my perception of a situation needs 'grounding' because my emotions catastrophize to the point my head is screaming: What/Why don't 'they get the big picture'. So glad to read you are 'feeling' your brother, the hubby family crap is interfering with your own process of healing from his loss. People think I'm a bit challenged in the brain...not just from bp...but the connection I feel from my family supporting me from the Heavens. I seek refuge with them, and comfort by having them close to me in times where I want and need their strength...I do this most often by wearing a sweater that has to be at least 50years old...made by my Mother, first for my sister, then it went to my brother and then to me. My Mom knitted lots of sweaters for me, and for herself...I have them all and so when I wear them I'm comforted. I really hope you will find something that will connect you, as we are all part of the universe...sending healing thoughts and prayers to you...as you continue to process much support as I can...as you give so often to others! ml