PROGRESS REPORT #2 - slowly waking up
Ok, I never said I was a morning person...
My minister friend sent me a text Friday afternoon... Christian singles group was having a potluck picnic 5 minutes away from my house and did I want to go? Yep, I wanted to go... and I looked up the notice and it turned out it was a bicycle ride too. So I rearranged all my plans for the weekend and went...
I was 2nd to arrive, my friend right behind me, 1st person was a woman. And another woman came, and another woman, and another woman, and another woman, lol. Oh well.... and it turned out they don't really bike. Two bikes were brand new from Walmart, and while they knew how to ride, they didn't know how to shift. Ok, lol, so taking them out on the singletrack was out of the question... and then I was asked to lead. So we went along the bike path in town, some talked the entire time about nonsensical stuff, some didn't talk at all as they seemed to struggle just with the slight rolls of the path. It turned out that their tire pressure was so low they were fighting the bike with each pedal stroke. So once we got back to the picnic area, I did a little maintenance work and got them rolling again...
You know... when I was getting ready to go, I was SO nervous. I think it was truly the first time I actually considered myself single. Expectations... my insecurities were forefront and I was worried that I would over talk due to nervousness (you know what I mean... ramble about myself the entire time).... and it turned out that others were more nervous than me and did the rambling instead, lol. I really enjoyed myself. Not being worried about being the center of attention was so freeing that I just rode and listened, and asked questions and made several new friends. I think some of them are going to be GOOD friends....
When we were done riding, a man was standing at the grill. Nice guy... athletic, worked at a nearby sporting goods store.... and he immediately handed out flyers about an informational meeting about extremist Islamists. (Rolling my eyes) The conversation at that point took a bit of a disturbing turn. Not only did ranting and raving start about how "evil" Islamists are supposed to be, but then the conversation turned to guns. Basically about target shooting and completely unrelated, but the way the conversation turned... well, I think I was the quietest I've ever been in my life and that's saying something... I wonder what would have happened if I started talking about extremist Christians....
Still, overall, I felt really good about being there. I left with a smile after 4 hours and was one of the first to leave (I had to be at an appointment by 2 pm). And I got invited to a wild game feed in a few weeks. I'll go, but I'm won't eat there... I'm going to just go for the socializing, and see what happens...
And in the meantime.... the medication is working excellent! Debillitating anxiety that I didn't know I was experiencing began to fade after 4 days at 1/2 a pill. I start a full pill by Wednesday. Since it started kicking in, I've not only gotten more done on my business plan, but I cleaned my office, clean and reorganized my craft room, repaired clothes that had been in a pile for 2 years (I don't even know if they will fit anymore, lol)... even ran the camper down to the camper store and got a lesson on what I was doing wrong with the propane so that camping this Fall is going to be AWESOME! AND, I got into MAJOR TRAINING this weekend.... first 3 miles I kept thinking that I've definitely reached old age (I turn 50 a week from tomorrow) because I kept wishing that every steep hill was cut down by half, lol. But by mile 4, my 2nd wind kicked in and I flew... ok, well flying as far as I'm concerned where I can still safely wind my way around trees instead of into them, lol. 14 miles of singletrack in 2 1/2 hours and only stopped because I got chased off by a thunderstorm. AND, my blood pressure has been normal even as I was anxious about the singles group. Yep, I'm waking up now!
LATER!
My minister friend sent me a text Friday afternoon... Christian singles group was having a potluck picnic 5 minutes away from my house and did I want to go? Yep, I wanted to go... and I looked up the notice and it turned out it was a bicycle ride too. So I rearranged all my plans for the weekend and went...
I was 2nd to arrive, my friend right behind me, 1st person was a woman. And another woman came, and another woman, and another woman, and another woman, lol. Oh well.... and it turned out they don't really bike. Two bikes were brand new from Walmart, and while they knew how to ride, they didn't know how to shift. Ok, lol, so taking them out on the singletrack was out of the question... and then I was asked to lead. So we went along the bike path in town, some talked the entire time about nonsensical stuff, some didn't talk at all as they seemed to struggle just with the slight rolls of the path. It turned out that their tire pressure was so low they were fighting the bike with each pedal stroke. So once we got back to the picnic area, I did a little maintenance work and got them rolling again...
You know... when I was getting ready to go, I was SO nervous. I think it was truly the first time I actually considered myself single. Expectations... my insecurities were forefront and I was worried that I would over talk due to nervousness (you know what I mean... ramble about myself the entire time).... and it turned out that others were more nervous than me and did the rambling instead, lol. I really enjoyed myself. Not being worried about being the center of attention was so freeing that I just rode and listened, and asked questions and made several new friends. I think some of them are going to be GOOD friends....
When we were done riding, a man was standing at the grill. Nice guy... athletic, worked at a nearby sporting goods store.... and he immediately handed out flyers about an informational meeting about extremist Islamists. (Rolling my eyes) The conversation at that point took a bit of a disturbing turn. Not only did ranting and raving start about how "evil" Islamists are supposed to be, but then the conversation turned to guns. Basically about target shooting and completely unrelated, but the way the conversation turned... well, I think I was the quietest I've ever been in my life and that's saying something... I wonder what would have happened if I started talking about extremist Christians....
Still, overall, I felt really good about being there. I left with a smile after 4 hours and was one of the first to leave (I had to be at an appointment by 2 pm). And I got invited to a wild game feed in a few weeks. I'll go, but I'm won't eat there... I'm going to just go for the socializing, and see what happens...
And in the meantime.... the medication is working excellent! Debillitating anxiety that I didn't know I was experiencing began to fade after 4 days at 1/2 a pill. I start a full pill by Wednesday. Since it started kicking in, I've not only gotten more done on my business plan, but I cleaned my office, clean and reorganized my craft room, repaired clothes that had been in a pile for 2 years (I don't even know if they will fit anymore, lol)... even ran the camper down to the camper store and got a lesson on what I was doing wrong with the propane so that camping this Fall is going to be AWESOME! AND, I got into MAJOR TRAINING this weekend.... first 3 miles I kept thinking that I've definitely reached old age (I turn 50 a week from tomorrow) because I kept wishing that every steep hill was cut down by half, lol. But by mile 4, my 2nd wind kicked in and I flew... ok, well flying as far as I'm concerned where I can still safely wind my way around trees instead of into them, lol. 14 miles of singletrack in 2 1/2 hours and only stopped because I got chased off by a thunderstorm. AND, my blood pressure has been normal even as I was anxious about the singles group. Yep, I'm waking up now!
LATER!
Replies
Good for you-I like reading your positive journal :)
Another positive journal. I\'m glad you were out and had fun. I\'m still trying to figure out my blood pressure and I think it might be anxiety but the dr. doesn\'t want to put me on anything but BP meds.
Happy Birthday a little early. We are the same age and I love, LOVE to ride. It has become my drug of choice. I rode a little before the divorce but now I ride for hours and it connects me to the outdoors. Keep going - I clocked in at 114/73 BP at last check