Progress

Well I have to say yesterday I was kind of dreading going to a family get together. It was at my nephew's place for my great niece who is turning 15 in a few days. (She also has a younger brother who is 8 )  I love them more than anything and look forward to seeing them, but at the same time I always feel like the poor relation. Nephew and his wife and her parents are always working, always traveling, always shopping. I only give the kids money or goodie baskets because anything else they want they get before you blink.  Also I always feel self conscious because I am falling apart. lol

Funny thing was, I had such a good time. I found myself spending less time feeling like I didn't belong but instead embracing how much I did. I even got lost going over because of a damn detour that I knew nothing about. I followed the signs instead of going on google maps. (I almost took it as an omen to just turn around and go home.... but followed through.) I was just there a few minutes and they gave me a belated birthday surprise. It was a dark blue tshirt and they were all grinning from ear to ear as I open it up to read..... It said....PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME... I'M FROM THE 1900's.  LOL  My nephew's wife told me she saw this online a few times and said they had to get it for me.    I am always joking about something taking too long or from very long ago and I say it must be from 1902!!! or I haven't been over since 1902!!!

Sheri (niece) and her whole family (now both great grandads are gone, but great grandmoms are still around) parents, sibling are all very close and in touch  and taking tons of pix ... used to feel sad because our family is dwindling apart and very few pix. Then I stopped to think and realize it is better to have less contact with those who can be distant and self absorbed. I always hated my picture taken (just as my mom and aunt did) but the fact is if I just asked the kids would be right there with their cameras to do selfies.  I am also realizing that with all the good things in their family, they are human and have some downfalls. The feeling of being welcomed , included and cared about enough to be a part of these memories was far more than my all too common feeling of inadequacy and isolation. 

Today when I got home from work I wound up opening mail and catching up with all sort of stuff. I got some new accts set up with Medicare, Medicaid. Followed up with some new insurance changes and some phone calls and am checking into a possible fraud charge.  (Did an online order and got a confirmation code and email on August 3. I sent a response to them to inquire as to where my purchases are or a refund. I called the phone# by the pymt logged in my bank info.  Unfortunately it was listed to a different company and the number was disconnected.)  I got frustrated and gave that one up again until tomorrow. I figured if I try to call number of the actual company where the order was placed I will learn more... but TOMORROW I had enough for today.

I must go make dinner and am going to call a friend and my sister in law later. Tomorrow I need to get blood work and have an early doctor appt. Wish me luck.