Progress

This morning after months of sleeping all the time and wallowing in self pity i got up and ran on the treadmill and found it was as easy as it was 2 yrs ago in my own house before the divorce.  Maybe its me going thru a med induced manic state or on a more optimistic note maybe the meds are helping.  Ive never experienced a manic episode with highs in my depressive state-its always been mid to lows. But..heres hoping its the latter.

2 years ago i met whom I thought was the man of my dreams here on DM however looking back I know I was on the rebound from my broken marriage and he was rebounding from his broken engagement.  We were both so vulnurable at the time that he talked a good game that I wanted so much to believe.  He finally admitted when things were getting quite serious that he had made a mistake.  The hurt i felt killed me and for months i grieved.  He would reach out and i would have hope again.  Every year at the holidays, Ive wished him well but this year he reached back out.  We had our first good conversation yesterday and I felt nothing romantic but glad that i might have a friend for life if the boundaries stay there.   Ive made strides i feel in that arena-its been awkward living with Roomie but, its given me the tools not to always been looking for a partner.  I needed to feel whole alone and I feel like Im getting there.  I finally feel my worth at my 50 years.  I wish I had learned sooner. Maybe ill finally get my wings.  

I did not feel the need to work this weekend.  I wanted to rest and do some fun mind numbing things like shopping.  Hope you all have a peaceful Sunday!