Problem Neighbour
So I have this situation... and I don't know if anyone here will read this but if you do can you offer your 2 cents worth or advice.
First, I'm quiet, I try not to cause problems, and I stay out of my neighbours business and I try to apply the treat your neighbours as you'd treat yourself rule to everyone. But I have one neighbour who has broken my trust. Back in the fall she stole nearly $200 from me. I'm not going into the whole story but it wasn't the first thing she has stolen but first time she got caught. I've been very distant and she didn't bother me for awhile.
I've told her before not to ever ask me for anything because I will not loan or give her anything but that I have forgiven her. Now that a few months have passed she's calling frequently and knocking on my door every few days. She keeps trying to invite herself over for coffee and to borrow money and various other things. It really frustrates me... especially since I know her intent and why she wants the money. So I am staying firm... but I just don't know how to keep facing her and not get so frustrated. Even when in the program and support office here (we live in a low income area for women recovering from homelessness) she has stolen things from there and is always seeing what she can get so she can sell or pawn off for drug money. She does have a history of violence, has even been in prison for it and also has some serious mental health illnesses.
How do I still be an amicable neighbour and not compromise my health and sanity in the process. I'm not about to invite her into my place or give her money or anything like that but I don't believe in being a mean bitch either. Just not sure were the balance is and just looking for support and/or ideas.
First, I'm quiet, I try not to cause problems, and I stay out of my neighbours business and I try to apply the treat your neighbours as you'd treat yourself rule to everyone. But I have one neighbour who has broken my trust. Back in the fall she stole nearly $200 from me. I'm not going into the whole story but it wasn't the first thing she has stolen but first time she got caught. I've been very distant and she didn't bother me for awhile.
I've told her before not to ever ask me for anything because I will not loan or give her anything but that I have forgiven her. Now that a few months have passed she's calling frequently and knocking on my door every few days. She keeps trying to invite herself over for coffee and to borrow money and various other things. It really frustrates me... especially since I know her intent and why she wants the money. So I am staying firm... but I just don't know how to keep facing her and not get so frustrated. Even when in the program and support office here (we live in a low income area for women recovering from homelessness) she has stolen things from there and is always seeing what she can get so she can sell or pawn off for drug money. She does have a history of violence, has even been in prison for it and also has some serious mental health illnesses.
How do I still be an amicable neighbour and not compromise my health and sanity in the process. I'm not about to invite her into my place or give her money or anything like that but I don't believe in being a mean bitch either. Just not sure were the balance is and just looking for support and/or ideas.
Replies
boundaries are always a good thing. Do some research on boundaries on DS learn what you can. Stay firm on them, they have some good christian books out there on boundaries. Pray, give it to God, He will help... Love ya, praying for ya!
maintaining your boundaries does NOT equal bitchiness!!!!! This sounds like a VERY toxic relationship, and you have no responsibility to her. setting boundaries and sticking to them is easier said than done i know, but letting go of the guilt helps. sending good wishes your way