probably insecurities

The husband is driving team for the next couple of weeks with his step dad.  It scares me because his family has never liked me and always tried to break us up.  I want him to have time with his family they just don't like me.  It scares me him being with his step dad now because I feel like we are already going through so many different changes in our lives that we are like a glass house ready to break.  It's only been a few days since he's been doing this but already I have noticed a difference in our communication.  He doesn't call as often.  Its already almost 1 in the afternoon here and by this time in the day I would have at least already heard from him and nothing been like this every day.  I just feel alone.  Its hard enough to have your spouse working a job that doesn't bring them home everyday.  But we have learned to fill that void with phone calls throughout the day.  I wait for him to call so that traffic and other things are not a problem for him.  Last night before bed we talked a whole ten minutes.  I feel like I am losing the anchor that I had for this surgery and am doubting if we will make it through this.  I hate feeling this way and have no real reason for feeling like this after all we have been married for 19 years and made it through a lot of crap.  When we first got married he insisted that since neither one of us had any money that we live at his mom's place which I naively agreed to.  That left our first year of marriage complete hell because while he worked and I didn't I was held captive in the home.  Any time someone called the house for me I had to take the call in the dining room where my conversations were overheard.  I wasn't allowed to have a key to the house so that I could come and go as I pleased and visitors had to be cleared by my inlaws.  Finally we moved into our place that we found for rent and his job was an hour away from the house so he was gone 10 hours a day.  I had my first miscarriage while he was at work.  Didn't even know I was pregnant, I woke up hurting that morning helped him get off to work and kissed him goodbye.  Then the pain got so bad that I had to drive myself to the emergency room.  Where I was told that I was losing my baby I didn't even know about.  I lied to the staff and said I had someone coming to get me and my car to drive me home and drove myself home where instead of laying down and taking it easy like I was told to do I cleaned the house and made my husbands favorite meal and dessert for dinner that night to soften the blow.   We went through several other miscarriages and several years later our greatest loss.  We were expecting twins and I was six months pregnant when the car I was in was in an accident and the impact was on the passenger side where I was seated.  Our little girl lived for two hours which was the length of time for the doctors to tell us her prognosis, us to make the decision to take her off the machines, and her little heart to beat for the very last time.  Our baby boy didn't even draw a breath.  We made it through that together.  He decided that he wanted to drive truck for a living and went to school for it.  A few years after he hit a patch of ice several states away from home and rolled the truck.  While the accident should have been fatal for him he walked away with minor injuries but I couldn't get to him where he was and had to wait for a week after the accident to see him.  During that time a friend of mine from a trucking forum lost her husband to the very same kind of accident as mine had just had.  We made it through he still wanted to drive but was a little scared and we worked together and got him through his fears so he could get behind the wheel once again.  One year after his accident I was going home from work and was hit by a semi truck who ran a red light.  The truck hit my vehicle with such impact that it stripped the seat belt gears, threw me out the passenger window, put the engine of my car in the drivers seat, spun my car around 360 degrees, and the pup trailer of the truck ended up being parked on top of my car.  We got through that he was with me and helped me and I healed and we made it through.  When his mother died several years ago he went through a very bad stage and I wasn't sure if we were going to make it through.  He went into rages and would hurt me.  The very first time he hurt me was the night she died.  He got mad at me for something and the next thing I knew I was slammed into a wall and being hit.  We were in another state and in a motel.  I had nobody around that I knew.  I was all alone the next morning he got up and went to his moms house to sit with his step dad and left me alone without money or transportation in the hotel hurting horribly from the night before.  I endured several months of abuse from him.  I didn't leave even though I thought of it several times because I knew he was hurting inside his mother was his best friend in life and he lost her.  After patience and understanding we made it through that dark period and became stronger.  We have weathered several storms together but for some reason whenever he gets alone with his family I can't help but get worried that we won't make it.  Now we are making the change to owning a truck that he drives big pricey move, me having gastric bypass surgery and a child who is special needs.  Some days I just can't do it by myself and I just need to talk to him to know that we can get through this but the last few days have not held that much for me.  Our son has been really acting up, my arthritis is really giving me grief and I just feel like I can't go on anymore.  Usually when I get even close to that point he is the one that brings me back to normal and I don't feel like I have that right now.