Prisoner

I feel like a prisoner locked away in my room which is the only thing that protects me from the monster that's trying to get in. I must lock myself away in order to have any chance of being safe. I must quietly open my door and sneak bast the beast door and pray that he doesn't hear me.. The 4 step walk to the bathroom seems like a journey that takes an eternity..I don't turn on the light or flush the toilette in fear that he will hear be and be outside my door waiting.. While most people sleep in there pjs i sleep in my jeans and a belt because it's much harder to get off.. Little tricks of the trade I've picked up over the years... Sad i know while other kids was learning how to shoot a hoop or play a video game.. I was learning how to survive the abuse my cousin has done to me without the help and support of my  "parents or family" I learned at an early age that i was alone in this household, everyone was forced to handle and deal wit there own problem on our own or do as my mom says "just get over it" For someone who was once in my shoes she should know that you can't just get over it....I'm stuck being a prisoner of my parents, of my siblings, of my cousin and worst of all of myself.. Although one day i will escape everyone else but i can never escape myself. cutting alcohol, drugs and last for a little while sooner or later i have to face my hurt crying inner child and stop hiding behind the person i created and slowly became and took over..Its about time for me to reclaim my name...