Pride, Denial and Humility
Last night I attended an online compulsive gamblers meeting at SafeHarbor --- I really enjoyed it and would recommend it to all!! The topic was "freedom from gambling addiction" --- everyone told their own account of their gambling woes and how they gained their freedom or how that freedom has changed their life. As I read what everyone was writing, I just kept saying to myself "I can relate to that". And the more I related, the more I realized ---"I have been in denial". I used to think --- oh, glad i'm not that bad off, or at least I'm not in debt that far or at least I have my sanity (or so I thought). My pride has been keeping me from accepting the fact that I am more or less just like all the other compulsive gamblers -- on some level. Not above, not below, but right there with them. I have a problem just as they do and I have to find a solution to it just as they do or have done. Last night was eye opening and insightful for me. I am so glad that I attended.... So... for me, more work on pride and humility. I have to admit that I have always prided myself on my "pride". I can do this, I dont need any help, I've done greater things on my own, etc... But I was wrong. I cant do this on my own. I need help from my HP and my friends and family. And I have to help myself. I think I will start by taking my pride down a notch or two or three and work on being a more humble, caring and understanding person.
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Also I always thought gambling losses were relative. If I earned 2 thous a mo I would gamble accordingly and lose a lot but I am poor so even the few hundreds I spent hurt me badly as they added to thousands. So I used to be in awe when a person said they gambled away a few thous in one night but if I told my granddaughter ( and I wouldn\'t) I lost a few hundred in one night, she would fall over. So it\'s relative, we are all the same, in the same boat, one as compulsive and addictive as the other. hugs my humble friend, barb
that\'s great, we should start one here too.
Thank for sharing this insite I\'m on the same boat. I need to take my pride down and start reaching out for help. Which for me is hard to do right now because I tell myself I don\'t gamble by the thousands but if I had it I proabley would do it. So thank you and humbleness is some I too have to work on. I thank my higher power I am well for today and learn to be more grateful.