Pride
When I was in high school, one of my greatest joys was playing football. On our helmets, just below the falcon head logo was the word "PRIDE". That single word used to be a driving force for me in my early adult years. Ih fact, I used to give my poor mother grief when she gave me a birthday, christmas, valentine, etc. care and the word PRIDE was not somewhere in the printed poem. Well, I guess also in my early religious ed classes, I must have slept through the class where the seven deadly sins were discussed. Thus, imagine my shock a few years ago, when renewing/expanding my religious faith that I found PRIDE to be a sin! Ouch! After all of these years of "having pride", I now find out that I was living sinfully that while time? Since then, I have really struggled between trying to lead a life that Jesus wants for us...one of service...and not one that is prideful. The service part isn't hard for me, for I do impensly enjoy helping people. But I also find at times that I also want to lead efforts whether they be at work, at home, as a volunteer, etc. My rececnt struggles relates to my position as a volunteer coach I have performed over the past six years. Year seven is starting, andsome changes are being made as the person who has overseen the program for over 30 years is retiring. Thus, I have had specific plans/desires to grow our program...and am finding that I don't the direction the organization. This has lead to a lot of frustration...and I think my pride is a big factor behind my struggles. I keep asking myself, should I stay in the current position and be frustrated over how things are going or should I just step down...for we are really experience a "too many cooks in the kitchen" situation? From a service standpoint, I tell myself that I should stay...afterall what is important are the players...not my role as the coach. On the other had, the sport is "dying" due to lack of new players joining the sport. Thus, my desire to be in a leadership is to try and revive the sport by building up new interest and get more people involved. However, I don't see that happening with the way things are heading. Once of my desires is to be able to be in a position to develop a close friendship with my players. I don't want to just be there for them during a game situation...I want to be there for them after the games as friends...going to dinner...going to a ball game...etc. However, the way things are going, I'll not be in a position to develop these friendships with teh players...which I think is one of the many reasons that may decide to keep playing the sport. Is having such desires selfish? Is this my pride at work again? Are my motives selfish beyond just being a coach? For the most part, I am a very lonely person with very few friends. A few years ago, I was able to develop very close friendships with some of my players. Outside of our normal pratice schedules, I would take them to other practices. We would have team dinners. We went to ball games togerther. Our families got to know each other. Our team even had a "theme song" and for one of the national tournaments, I even created a CD of inspirational songs and gave it to each player. One player and I even began praying together...even though we were of different faiths. Most of these players have moved on to other parts of the country now...to futher their education, to get married, to start families, etc. However, these are still the only real close friends I have. Although the miles seperate up from seeing each others and our families, we still keep in touch via phone calls, emails, etc. I guess as a "new generation" of players were starting, I had hopes of being in a position to develop thesame types of friendships. However, that doesn't appear that that will happen now. So, should I walk away from a sport I love...which provides so many opportunities to service others...with so many great memories? Or should I swallow my pride and stay on...being disastisifed because I want to do so much more...but not having the opportunity to do so? I want so much to lead and help and service others that sometimes I feel I could explode...and the frustartion is almost unbearable...or is that the pride talking again. Or, to complicate matters more...is this God's way of telling me that my "job" as a coach is done. Is this a "road block" he is placing in my path so as to "steer" me to a new direction...a new direction I have no idea about? Or is this a test? I read somewhere the other night that we are given challenges to see how badly we want something. Is God testing me to see how badly I want to continue to coach...how badly I want this sport to grow...how badly I want to lead that effort...how badly I want to serve these players? Thus, putting my desires and pride aside, what is God's will for me? Then I read the prayer below...and I feel so guilty because of my pride...for I don't think I am strong enough to be so humble after six years of hoping to be in a position to lead this program. I've tried really hard to keep this prayer in my prayer in my heart...but I think I am losing the battle quickly as my pride wells to the top... LITANY OF HUMILITYO Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
Replies
Hi hun, I just read your journal and Im so sorry your questioning pride right now. I will be honest I dont believe Im very smart with my words, I usually feel no matter what anyone else writes they always seem to say it better or just come across as extremely intelligent compared to myself. But no matter how inadequate i feel I had to respond because although I might be wrong I just couldnt help but feel that although \'pride\' is considered a sin I truely believe its in the interpretation of what is or isnt pride hun.
Pride is a sin but if its truely pride we are talking about. Pride is a sin but its meant in the form that when your totally self absorbed, totally vain then its a sin. I dont know you but in my eyes we have become friends here and from what I know of you, from what I have read, from the posts you write or journals you share, you are definately not vain, self centered or totally about you.
YOu are one of the most caring, giving, inspiring, supportive, wonderful person I have met.
I think with the football coach thing, its not pride driving you, but look at it differently, look at it that hun you are wanting to help others, you are volunteering, you are helping so many individuals in so many aspects of your life. I dont think for a moment that god looks over you and thinks that is a sin, but quite the opposite and is pleased proud to see how much of yourself, your talents, your time, your love, your faith you are truely giving.
I feel to believe in one\'s own ability also does not necessarily mean leaving God out of one\'s life. But quite the contrary for focusing on one\'s work using God\'s given trait is simply doing God\'s work here on Earth.
I believe he watches over us without us realizing it. I also believe that should we be led astray and find ourselves going down the wrong path that he will always be there to help get us on the right course again.
Well I guess Im trying to say that I feel the word \"pride\" can be debatable amongst all who worry on the issue.
I hope my opinion made some sense hun and helped you to look at it little differently.
hugs Nikki xx
God\'s Awesome Light
There comes a day when life gets tough
wearyness is the name of the game
We have tried so long to do it right
but everyday ends the same
The clouds roll in black and thick
thunder echos across the land
even the cattle shrink in their stalls
as lightning strikes up its band
\"Where are you,Lord\" I whisper
as I kneel beside my bed
what have I done to displease You?
as down this road I\'m led?
How can I cope with this trial?
Too many have come my way
Where are you Lord? I need you!
I\'m sorry if I\'ve gone astray
As I knelt by my bedside
I suddenly saw an awesome light
It brightened my room and my heart
And gone was that frightening night
The mountains and the valleys
were singing praises to our King
peace to the broken hearted
Love is Gods main spring
Praise you,Lord God Almighty
For lifting this heavy load
I promise I will be more faithful
And stay on the Glory Land Road
U SHOW ME THAT U CARE VERY MUCH FOR THE PLAYERS AND U DONT FIND COACHES LIKE THAT
I think that taking pride in what you do is a rare quality these days and it sounds like you are doing a great job. Are there other coach jobs where you would be valued more?
I agree with what everyone else said. I don\'t see it as pride to be a leader. God made us leaders and followers. That is a gift you were given and I believe we need to use the gifts God gave. I don\'t know if it is God testing you because I don\'t see any good that would come from you no longer coaching. Could it be the devil who brings you doubt? I don\'t know, but I only see the good you have done for those you coach and have brought faith and friendship into their lives. I don\'t understand the exact circumstances as to how much things will change and why they won\'t accept some of your suggestions so I could be wrong. I pray that God grants you the answers you seek. God Bless you. Teresa
I see this all so differently than you do Fuzzy. We are here to serve one another and be examples for Christ. The pride we are to avoid is, pride that serves one\'s ego, because ego eases God out. I wrote this for myself, maybe it will help......
Dear Lord,
You have preassigned my works
so in you I take rest;
assured that You will work through me
so others may be blessed.
Keep me ever humble
as I toil to do your will
If ever I get pompous Lord
my ego Lord please still.
Help me be myself Lord
as you would have me be
so others Lord will benefit
the love provided me.
Teach me to let go of doubt
by faith alone in Thee
whatever be my cross today
Your strength impart to me.
Keep me calm and centered
and free from all concern
knowing you\'ll provide me
all I need to learn.
Encourage me to listen
and hear your clear direction
guard me from presumption
and provide me your protection.
Help me lead all others to you
by action and by deed
and If I stumble Jesus
please Lord intercede.
My gift is not in preaching
but help me play my part
in leading others to you
with a kind and gentle heart.
I must say that I agree with everyone here. As long as you check your motives for wanting that position, and they seem to be mostly others-centered, then you are not sinning. If your motives are because you love the praise of men, and that things have to be your way or the highway, well then I would say yes, that type of pride is sinful.
However, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the encouragement we get from others over a job well done. An example of that in my own life is all the compliments I get at work for the cakes I decorate. I readily confess that working there has been sooo good for my well-being because of all the positive input I get that that is one of the main reasons why I do not want to look elsewhere for a job that pays more, although we could use the $!
And I love making people happy. I get such joy out of hearing how special their occasion was because of the custom-made cake and how much the person of honor just loved it. Gee, I just reread that and hope I don\'t sound like I\'m bragging! I can see how you\'d get confused about this pride thing! ;)
I wonder, if we went back to finding the original Greek or Hebrew word that was originally used for the word \"pride\" in that text and found out what the exact definition was, what we would find? I doubt that it would be a sin to take \"pride\" in what you do, or to be \"proud\" of your children. After all, when God finished creating, He sat back and said \"It is GOOD.\" Don\'t you think he took pride in all that He had just accomplished? In God there is no sin at all, and so I do believe they are not referring to this type of pride.
OK, here is a paragraph of questions to help you determine your motives:
Are the reasons you don\'t agree with the changes only because of how they would affect this part of your life, or are they also for the sake of the team or organization as a whole? Is there any good at all that you can see about why they want to do things the way they are? Do they realize what a deep desire and ability you have to be a strong leader, or have you been afraid to make them aware of that for fear of being considered prideful?
Maybe God is simply moving you on to coach somewhere else? Is there another place you could do that?
It sounds to me like this has provided for a deep emotional need for you and you don\'t want to let that go, and who would! I don\'t think God is asking you to give up your desire for deep relationships. (BTW, I am greatly impressed that you, as a man, value relationships the way you do. That seems to be extremely rare for guys and such a wonderful personality trait! Maybe it is just that our stupid society doesn\'t allow men to show their feelings, but I think most women would agree that a guy who values relationships the way you do is a great catch). As I said earlier, it could be that He is just moving you elsewhere to a place that would be better for you. Sometimes, making us dissatisfied where we\'re currently at is the way He does this.
Please don\'t feel guilty from that prayer. It is a beautiful prayer, and I was very blessed to read it, but often Satan tries to use \"Christianity\" to make us feel guilt that God never intended us to bear. Remember, the bible says that Satan is \"the ACCUSER of the brethren.\" But Jesus is our advocate with the Father and the one who bore all of our guilt already. We have no business carrying it any longer!!! False guilt is one of the main reasons for depression, at least it has been in my life.
You\'re probably referring to the part that states, \"when others may be chosen and I set aside\" right? Can you ever picture a Presidential candidate praying that? No, they are running because they believe they can create positive change for our country. They believe they are the most qualified to do so and that is not prideful, just factual. If I were you, I would tweak that prayer a little bit, and ask that where God wants you to lead, HE WOULD PLACE YOU THERE, and that where He desires to put someone else, He would give you the wisdom to see it, and the grace to be happy in the position He wants you in for now.
I will keep you in my prayers, my friend.
Love, Debi
Okay, a lot of people have already commented on this, but I just want to say that I agree that I don\'t really think pride is the problem here. I think that you may be reaching a point where God may be calling you to a different type of service, maybe even one that will allow you to make friends with people who are your age. I think that it is important that you pray about this A LOT, and try to spend time just listening to hear what God is trying to tell you. Keep your eyes and ears and heart open to other opportunities that might be out there, and see if anything jumps out at you as being something that you are excited about or might want to get involved with. I really think that if God is calling you to serve in a particular area, it will be doing something that you really enjoy.
I will pray about it on your behalf, and, as always, I am happy to talk about it if you want or need to.
Carolyn
There\'s a lot of wisdom here my friend.I think you were given a gift.Listen to your heart and to God.
awesome
Thanks you all so much for all of your comments, suggestions, insights, etc. I don\'t have any friends or family who I can discuss these issues with, so I thank God that I have you, my DS friends to help me.