prepairing my self for a big week

well here it is, monday right around the corner, my mind is on overload already. I have been doing paper work , packing and loading all day. And thinking of what if this , what if that. Bad , but  I am bracing myself to go back to the place where it all happened, and bracing for  the worst. it would be too easy just to walk in ,move the stuff, and ... we are in! No something , just something and not knowing is the worst. My son already got 1 email from his uncle, "hows your summer going hope the divorce is not bringing you down too much , hows your brother " etc. total denile. My son wrote him back, "just stop, why is it before or after a court hearing I get calls or texts???"  I know my son is really frustrated. I am going to set up a counsler meeting for Sat afternoon, just in case. and or  another one that may just come over to where we will be. Depending on the drug test, if positive I will request a sniff dog  to sniff the house out. I dont know if she will be at my court hearing chances are she will , just to see what I get. I am told, I will get counseling, I never have had a record and this just really upsets me. They do tell me it will be gone , off my record in months or a year. Hopefully, timing wise, if her test come back positive on monday, weds court date thoses results could be used as she is under the influance. Dont really know how that works. I am just exhausted. I am getting better I think, in my mind. I have to put it this way. when my wife died on the bed, she really did die. the person they brought back is not her, but someone very different. She is gone!