pre-menopause is my life

I started feeling bad at 40 having the PMS from hell. Now 15 years later I missed 3 periods last year so maye 2017 is my year. I have never been so unstable in my life. I am healthy I have exercised my whole life, I eat OK my problem is I don't eat enough. In this 15 yrs it got much worse. I have every symtom you can imagine from waiting for my period to end. The night sweats are the absolute worse and I do not understand how modern medicine has found 0 to help women. We are either freaks, crazy, nuts whatever and then the women who had it easy tell you to get over it. That is the worst thing you could do is be non supportive of a sister in need. As women we need to ban together at this time and at the very least be a listening ear. I will never give up hope I have spent much money on herbs, flash elimanator, supplements only to dread bed time every night. It used to be my favorite time of day not anymore it brings me much anquish. I have no clue how I am gonna hold on but I am going to because I see the ladies who came out of it OK. I try to take one day at a time. And when I know I am just a total bitch I must stop myself from any communication with anyone. I have embarrassed myself beyond repair and I hate being a freak show. I beg God to help me and He will when He has time. For now lucky I found this I need support and welcome anyone wanting to vent. Women we got cursed with this awful plague but I did have 3 kids so at the very least I got something out of this deal. It was not what I bargained for!!!!