Praying this pain and lonliness ends someday.

I thought that I would "talk" to my computer.  It always seemed to help to put an entry on Chuck's Caringbridge site when he was ill.
The past few days have been very hard for me.  I have been really missing Chuck, almost like he just died yesterday.  I go shopping and and just out and about; everyone seems to have someone, which makes me feel even sadder.  I have had trouble sleeping, so went to my Dr. to talk to him and get something.  It doesn't help, so guess I will just deal with not sleeping.  I also have fibromyalgia, so have been hurting alot, which doesn't help.  I have had trouble sleeping before Chuck died, so have ways to relax myself.  Last night, I just couldn't settle down.  After trying some things, I ended up sobbing, feeling very trapped, wondering where I could go or what I could do to get some  peace with having Chuck gone.  I finally did settle down and go to sleep
I'm a military wife, so I am used to my husband being gone for long periods of time. I should be handling this better.   It was hard when he was deployed, but I knew that he would come home, plus, we had communication with each other when we were apart.  Part of the reason for these feelings are is that I get stressed over thinking about the things that I need to get done; repairs on the house, bills, and cleaning out things in the house.  Sometimes it all gets so overwhelming.
I try to tell myself that I'm certainly not the only one that is alone, not having their partner any longer.  That thought certainly helps, but those thoughts don't give hugs, a kind, comforting word and just being physically here.
So, I will go on and hopefully with time, widowhood gets easier.  Dear God, I hate this.    
Thankyou for listening computer.